20.12.10 by Jeff

Shoe Giveaway!

Sean over at Status Foe wants to give away 7 pairs of shoes!

zig zag shoe giveaway

We’ll do the same thing we did last year, if you want ’em write me a funny haiku! Funniest/wittiest poems get the shoes.

Haiku poems are three lines. 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables.


Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don’t make sense

I will pick 7 winners next Monday. Each person will be able to choose any pair of Zig Zag shoes from the Status Foe website.

If you don’t see your comment appear right away RELAX!!! It is because you are not a regular commenter and your comment is being held to prevent spam. It will show up once it is approved.

Jeff Hamada is the Founder and Editor of Booooooom. He lives and works in Vancouver.

  • kim

    i am not witty
    but one thing is for certain
    i can’t afford shoes

  • caitlin Murphy

    I have these shoes
    They have holes in them.
    They suck a —-

  • James Boswell

    offer of free shoes
    how many syllables is
    booooooooom anyway

  • Terence Lim

    I’d love some new shoes
    So this song I write for you
    Clothe my naked feet.

  • Wingers

    My old shoes are worn
    I need new shoes to woo girls
    I miss my old shoes…

  • I don’t speak english
    Je vais m’le faire en Français
    Raboule moi les shoes

  • felix

    i wanted some shoes
    my comment about genitals got deleted
    i’m at work

    • it wasn’t deleted because you said penis, it was deleted because it wasn’t a haiku.

      • G

        That is no haiku
        with or with out the penis
        such hypocrisy

      • well played

  • Jana Vasiljević

    I don’t know how many
    syllables are in this haiku
    damn english language

  • Joe Cooper

    steps go up and down
    except for when I am drunk
    then they go sideways

  • wingers

    My old shoes are worn
    I need new ones to woo girls
    I miss my old shoes…

  • wet leather jacket
    one bottle of jack daniels
    stubbed out cigarettes

  • Benny

    Walk around in snow, suddenly it feels warm , pee

  • boots in winter – no
    flip flops in summer – yes
    butt kicked all-year long

  • Andrew Sutton

    Season of goodwill,
    Oh, wouldn’t it be a thrill,
    To have a new heel.

  • Seb

    Hey Mister Jeff,

    Are you allowed to give you haiku’s titles?

  • noitan

    don’t have much to eat
    potato chip sandwiches
    shoes might be tasty

  • Oh, pair of Zig-Zag,
    Make me shake a leg or two!
    Change my color blue.

  • marta

    don’t want anymore
    my boots of spanish leather
    i want to try yours

  • Matter

    Purple Unicorns
    Dashboard Melting Pot of Shame
    Help Me, I’m Insane

  • Brian Rush

    What you get when you
    cross poetry and footwear
    The answer: Haishoes!

  • eran

    look outside jimmy
    now look at your reflection
    are you blind jimmy?

  • Zig Zag statusfoe
    boom booom boooom boooom booom boooom booooom
    you ampersand me

  • i walk home barefoot,
    if your shoes disappear
    you know you had fun

  • Footsteps, eyes up high
    nothing else but the ice truck
    chewing gum.

  • Seb

    One Mary Poppins
    Didn’t think of haiku’s, while
    Singing “atrocious” songs.

  • Heidi Tang

    Oh! They ate my feet!
    My feet are now inside them.
    More hungry Haikus…

  • suppose you read this
    and it’s funnier than some
    what’s in it for me?

  • Andrew P.

    This is super rad
    I think this is rather neat
    Give me some shoes, please

  • Leonel Davalos

    This is pretty cool,
    what should I make the Haiku
    about? Does BOOOOM sound good?

  • Caitlyn

    Gimme Gimme Shoes
    No I don’t sound like Britney
    Status Foe is ace

  • Colleen Earle

    I didn’t wear my
    Shoes today. My feet were cold.
    My shoes are not cool.

  • (whoops, missed something)

    Footsteps, eyes up high
    nothing else but the ice truck
    chewing gum killer.

  • Caitlyn

    i am surprised
    at the amount of people
    that don’t read the rules

  • Hey give me the shoes please man
    You’d been doing my feet a favor
    Smooth operator

  • Dappled sandy path
    Leaves crunching under my feet
    Socks shift. Ouch! Blister.

  • tisa

    dear, look at the shoes
    and now i am so confused
    i’m writing nothing

  • Liam

    How good would it feel
    to walk in new shiny shoes,
    I wittily won.

  • my boyfriend needs these
    for his darn feet smell like cheese
    help us pretty please

  • Alex

    The small child sings loud,
    He wants a new pair of shoes,
    “blue shoes, red” he chants.

  • tyler jenkins

    this broke ass nigga,

    needs some them fresh kicks,

    my feet be streaking.

  • Kumasan

    Too tired for haiku.
    I’m not sure I can do this.
    Oh! Hey! Look at that!

  • Quand je pense à toi
    Ma paire de chaussures rougit
    Tralala pouet pouet

  • Ardylles

    twenty-nine cent stamp?
    that’s a dollar eighty five
    thank you, come again.

  • christmas time is near
    i have to know how it feels
    to rock with new shoes


  • I’ll give you more than
    Seven pairs of syllables.
    Do you have fourteens?

  • Mark

    Man, I need some shoes
    For potential interviews
    Jobless and barefoot

  • Alastair

    All these submissions,
    will without doubt highlight that,
    mine is half hearted.

  • Stu

    shoe 101
    laces in eyeletes
    one left and one right

  • Aidan Volkofsky

    oh white ones look nice!
    is size 12 too big or good?
    if not i can change…

  • once i’d forgotten my shoes at home.
    strange day.

  • Stu

    haiku do do
    do push pineapples
    shake the tree
    (that didn’t really work if I’m entirely honest)

  • cesar

    startled by the light
    my feet are sexy bitches
    cover up hussies

  • Christobal

    How do I make it.
    I speak of a funny haik…
    for real, I need shoes.

  • Andrés

    I don’t know how to
    count syllables in english.
    Saludos, Andrés.

  • Jason

    Gonna tear you down
    Underneath your just a clown
    Or are you a goose?

  • charlie

    my girl likes to par
    ty all the time, party all
    the time, party all…

  • martin


  • RebeccaH

    My body trembles
    Not because you smiled at me:
    Snow on my bare feet.

  • richelle

    dont really need shoes
    just need to be pretentious
    oh yes–a haiku!

  • jade

    in winter it’s cold
    pretty shoes warm my feet up
    then they look cosy

  • Georgi

    My friend is writing
    She left with a stupid man
    But I don’t miss her

  • please give me a pair
    ’cause my toes are peeking out
    my old, worn sneakers


    shoes shoes shoes shoes shoes
    shoes shoes shoes shoes shoes shoes shoes
    shoes shoes shoes, shoes shoes

  • Hazim

    I need those shoes
    Zig-Zag for girlfriend
    gratitude sex for me.

  • New shoes are pennies.
    Pennies fall out of old shoes.
    Old shoes become zen.

  • So i was running
    Late for class but had to stop
    I got a stiffy.

  • four hours awake
    dreaming takes the pain away
    why did you leave me?

  • Carol

    Snow under my feet
    Frozen toes and soaked soles
    Man, I need those zig-zag shoes

  • Wind between the trees
    Far from civilization
    Internet is slow

  • Gary

    Did I win before? No.
    I’m not bitter, I swear it.
    SHOES NOW! Goddamnit.

  • lieven

    astronaut drive-in
    homegrown vegetables tiger
    dishwasher mousepad

  • zigzag shoes are neat
    but they are for a boys feet
    i am not a boy

  • Marc

    boom, shake, shake, explode.
    your cool green handmade grenade,
    will paint the whole world.

  • SonyMakkaroni

    white and cold
    red and blue –

  • Jeff W

    Boo ooo oom speaks art
    Grey mountains frown in background
    Why do i choose Junk! ?

  • miss.gracki

    i would like to say
    i have never won a thing
    so please, and thank you.

  • Ansley

    Haiku’s make high-tops
    Come off as majorly cool
    I make them cooler.

    Japanese writings
    can be funny but high tops
    replace a worn soul.

    I love your high tops
    So much that i wrote more than
    Than I meant to…oops!

  • Mos Cruz

    Yesterday it worked.

    Today it is not working.

    Windows is like that.

  • Laced with style
    Above only these soles
    Happy feet shall be

  • Nathan kirk

    happy feet happy people
    zig zags are the happiest
    things to put on feet

  • Leanne

    Used to be size ten
    then my toes were severed off
    Now I wear a nine

  • Haley Jones

    pickles fit in shoes
    bubblegum ice cream would too
    i like both of those

  • Justin

    I see you driving
    ’round town with the girl I love
    And I’m like “Haiku”

    • Cassie


  • Today I walk bare
    My feet touch cold floor, so sad
    New shoes would save me

  • Shoes i don’t care for
    A haiku I really do
    Mister Booooooom Bastic

    • Marie Anne

      Mr.Boombastic, telly fantastic LOL

  • kittens wear no shoes
    their paws are truly golden
    i’m not so lucky

  • The best feeling in the world is
    when the shoes you like
    likes you back

  • Timothy

    I’m not japanese,
    But I’d really like some shoes,
    So here’s a haiku.

  • Demetri Falkos Espinosa

    Haiku haiku barf
    Sorry, I’ve been sick lately
    Gimme them fine shoes

  • naked.

    I am quite naked.
    Seriously. I’m naked.
    Right now. No clothes on.

  • alsie parks

    bare feet are for me
    but some dank shoes could compete
    already skipping

  • Long walk outside day
    my toes said brrrr! my, my, brr!
    snow cold man, shit brrr!

  • i can never win
    any pretty giveaways
    hope this haiku changes things

  • jon

    no job and no shoes
    birthday on the horizon
    girl got me a clown

  • Rain runs rapidly
    The people scatter like ants
    Oh no! He has Raid


    When I was your age
    We wore shoes made of paper
    I’ll take the black ones

  • i need to confess
    sorry for my bad haiku
    but i want that shoes!!!

  • I was asked to write
    a haiku a witty one

  • Logan G

    zig zags are awesome
    they would make my feet comfy
    I’m a broke student

  • ian

    At the train station
    Boom for the relaxation
    Midnight marauders

  • James

    Need shoes in Africa can you send.

  • Alice

    white shoes
    they get dirty fast
    size six

  • Christophpher

    Shoe sits on a shoe
    shoe shack sean the shoelace-shoe
    sho.. sho.. shooo.. AASHOe.

  • I would be happy
    to walk a mile in your shoes
    so give them to me.

  • Jessie

    My small shoe-box house
    Not much space to swing a cat
    Room on my feet though

  • My old shoes smell bad
    and girls don’t like that too much
    This is my only hope

  • dude, what are those things
    sticking out from your pant legs?
    your feet? cover them!

  • SD

    I’m a producer
    Broke from trying to create art…
    ‘least I’ll look the part.

  • Christina

    (My voodoo mind trick.)

  • My friends spent a month
    Writing Facebook statuses
    In haiku. It sucked.

  • Peter

    Shoes shoes shoes shoes shoes
    Shoes shoes shoes shoes shoes shoes shoes
    Shoes shoes shoes shoes shoes.

  • Maxime

    I’m French-Canadian
    Je ne pourrai trouver sens,

  • Tommy Pedersen

    shoes, shoes, shoes
    give me the blues, blues, blues
    I mean shoes ….. give me ….!?

    Drop it!

  • I wish I had a
    super-conductive seafoam
    dinosaur crystal.

  • Becky

    friends skip my birthday
    playing the sympathy card
    please love me long time

  • Shannon

    The ability
    to acquire shoes with style
    such as these? PLEASE!! ME!!

  • Christmas jingles or Christian hymns
    Like picking between
    Drinking your pee or eating your shit

  • entering contests
    something i do a lot
    on jeff’s booooooom dot com

  • Haikus in english
    but haiku’s japanese
    universal shoes

  • i’m so embarrassed
    i don’t know how to count well
    can i try again?

  • Cody

    never say never
    movie tickets for christmas
    and a chia pet

  • xanderpants

    Help me, Obi-Wan
    Our most desperate hour
    You’re my only hope

  • Andrew

    The Sodomy Guard

    The stinky brown smear
    on my underwear, looks like
    angry face of bear

  • EricaWeiner

    I got Xmas blues…
    No one’s got a clue, poo poo.
    Flying home soon. Yesss.

  • Lee

    The one by XANDERPANTS needs to win so bad : )

  • Jesse W

    shoes, oh my god shoes
    the video expresses
    my love for…..condams

  • “You are what you eat”
    and so after the breakup
    she’s right, I’m nothing.

  • being young is sweet
    lack of money reigns supreme
    so chuck me some shoes

  • germstodd

    When shoe shopping, Keep
    In mind, The bigger the foot,
    The bigger the feat.

  • I wear a size 10
    Most brands have weird sizes though
    I hope these fit me

    and now to come up with a haiku

  • Laura T

    We hold these soles to
    be self evident… all sneakz’
    ain’t made no equal.

  • Adrian

    i will step boldly:
    no heteronormative
    shoe wearing forthwith!

  • kristin v

    My feet are naked
    New kicks are superb
    Wet feet really suck

  • Steve

    climate change today
    who’s carrying the burden
    it’s my feet once more

  • I met a man; Stan,
    his nature was Afghani,
    Yes! Afghanistan.

  • Joel

    I write haikus well
    There’s just one problem I have
    I don’t always understand how many syllables are supposed to go on each line

  • David

    I am hungover
    Was at a christmas party
    I want the black ones

  • help me i have just
    40 minutes to make my
    entire life happen

  • sister woke me up
    playin a sweet guitar sound
    i love bein home

  • little blue booties
    I believe they have my name
    written on them, thanks

  • picky i am not
    i’ll take red, white, blue, or black
    all the shoes are hot

  • Chris

    Concentrating on
    Haikus, exam tomorrow
    Could use some new shoes

  • lo diga o no
    amo esos zapatos
    translated yet

  • I am Chuck Noriss
    I round house kick some faces
    Protect my feet please

  • Sifu wanted shoes
    Yeti said fee-fi-foe-fum!
    Wham! Holy Sifu!

  • Cassie

    One pair, please, in white
    The perfect canvas for a
    Starry sky at night

  • Brennan W

    Winter is so cold
    Trudging around in old shoes
    Wish I had some Zig Zags

  • black leather shoes
    i’ll never let you
    step in poo

  • One time I wrote a
    Haiku for a pretty girl.
    She was not impressed.

  • marketa

    pancakes are yummy
    we should eat them for breakfast
    and try not to puke

  • Evan Hopkins

    Zig-zag, jump, and spin :)
    Cringe my toes to grasp the soles…
    There go my shoes again :(

    • Evan

      Errr, I’m failing, just change the last line to “there they go again” ;)

  • Max

    I cut off my feet.
    These shoes would make nice new feet
    if stuffed with foot meat.

  • Travis

    These shoes are my chance
    to become an Indie King
    No more thrifting. Thank God.

  • i like shoes a lot
    too bad my wallet does not
    “hi my name is grace”

  • Aubrey

    diaper I repaid
    stressed was saw desserts
    gateman nametag

  • if shoes had feelings
    they’d probably cry a lot
    and call me “monster”

  • Jesseline G.

    This one is titled “Commercials”.

    i love to hate you
    when you disturb my viewing
    so now i will pee.

    Thanks for the chance to win kick-ass shoes!

  • Kasey

    Play online scrabble
    With hopes to improve my game
    God damn it, still lost.

  • emily

    to write a poem
    in seventeen syllables
    is very diffic-

  • forrest

    grapefruits swarmed the beach
    “just keep your head down and run”
    the tree, not the honey

  • Ellis

    In some instances,
    shoes are helpful. But, not when
    the floor is lava.

  • josh

    I would wear these shoes
    When I visit my parents
    Lie about my job

  • Ching

    Shoes smell like onions
    Status Foe no Doctor Scholls
    Yes goodbye bunions

  • The shoes are useless
    But sometimes my foot hurts me
    So i look my dick

  • Hamada and Foe
    givin’ away kicks, steps and sole
    #want Black Leather Low

  • germstodd

    I need new sneakers.
    That’s hard to admit, But if
    The shoe fits, Wear it!

  • broken social scene
    is what im playing right now
    cananda rock woot!

  • Jamie McMullen

    William Butler Yeats
    get on that writing craft chap
    my shoes bleed black ink

  • Kelvin Poon

    Slip on or slip off
    comfort guides my smelly toes
    leads me to my sole

  • NCIK

    We should write limericks.
    They are much more humorous.
    And easy to write.

  • Benjamin woodcock

    never win anything
    but shoes would be very very nice
    please keep my feet warm

  • germstodd

    While googling shoes,
    I was led to boom. At last!
    No more sole searching!

  • alexander

    i eat happy meals
    and yet i am sad; their name
    is so misleading.

  • germstodd

    A witty haiku,
    That is properly written,
    Will be a shoe-in!

  • Writing a haiku:
    Start with an inspiring thought,
    like that which I lack.

  • Paul Horton

    Wearing cool new shoes
    would be such a luxury
    Oh what would I do

  • William Alexander

    My name is will ‘n
    Some new shoes would be ill’n
    Kim Jong’s a vill’n

  • Anne

    “Girl shoes too small” :o

    Fickle feet feel cramped
    Size 10 squish pink pinky toes
    I am a girl, dilemma.

  • status foe booooooom game
    would be nice to have red shoes
    internet fun time

  • leelz

    Material things
    Are, for real, all I dream off
    Shoes please? K thanks bai!

  • Tatiana P

    Lets go back in time
    Woah look at the dinosuars
    Time machine broken

  • Sugar in the Raw.
    There is a lot of sugar.
    Equal. Sweet ‘n’ Low.

  • Aubrey

    In sunny Florida
    We don’t only wear flip-flops
    We like fly kicks too

  • Christopher

    it’s your feet she said
    they are haphazard, poems
    with aimless rhythm

  • aaavila

    My Tophers Crying
    Hes a dog Obsessed with food
    Topher-Gopher SIT!

  • Douglas

    “Literarily Bare”

    moby’s deck shoes sank
    the last of the moccasins
    scarlet leather soles

  • oprescu florina

    the wind blows today
    the leaf saw it coming…yes
    don’t wait for that day

  • Sarah

    what to say to you…
    to convince you.. I want these..
    I’d trade my sister..

  • Sarah

    I dip it. I shake.
    I let the booty bake ….but..
    I do need new shoes..

  • Mark

    Jef-fers Hamada
    Crisp fab Honda Miata
    Wait it is Mazda

  • Sarah

    what’s wrong with this world?!
    can’t a girl get some new shoes…
    just one pair… for free?!?

  • Sarah

    I will not lie.. nope.
    I’m horrible at haikus.
    But I want some SHOES!!

  • Can be in spanish?

  • Mark

    BOOM seven more times says haiku
    and Sean at Foe Sho’

  • Kate Humphreys

    milk milk lemonade,
    I drink them up everyday.
    juice a lemon cow.

  • “Peepin’on Status Foe’s Website”

    Grey Low Tops for me
    Black Chukkas hide my ankles
    Don’t care if their New!

  • I won’t write about
    Shoes, ’cause everyone else has
    Oh whoops, I did too

  • wren

    one thing is that i
    am so very fond of these
    stubby little things

    (thaaaaaaanks jeff)

  • tom

    cousin wore my shoes
    foot fungi is contagious!
    my feet cry for new

  • Mark

    My stylist is
    Bunk for sure no steez at all
    So where I get Swag?

  • Haikus are not songs
    Well, not most of the time. Er.
    I wrote two haikus.

  • brooke

    hot tea sunshine woes
    paint under my toes oil based
    booooooom me some clean feet

  • Matt

    Sock’s socks kiss the street
    Shield my feet from the gross street
    No poop on my feet!

  • dan rawdgers

    haiku’s are really
    syllable eating monsters
    five seven five yumm

  • david robinson

    A shoe with no sole
    Is like a soul with no shoes
    Wait–no it is not

  • Juan Carlos

    my friend told me to participate in this
    i read all of you, im “trying to make sense”

    —->>> ( I want this SHOES to walk here, in XALAPA VERACRUZ )

  • Haikus are not fun
    Syllable counting painful
    My brain is fried Thanks

  • The Red out the roots
    Quick! I need shoes for the grave
    But gone are the roots

  • Janette

    Cold feet in winter
    Pedicurist’s worse nightmare
    Frostbite ain’t pretty!

  • Zipeng Zhu

    First time heard Haiku,
    Sounds pretty cool and awesome,
    Shoes make it better!!!

  • Jesse Wilcox

    If only I knew,
    How to write a damn haiku
    Maybe I could win.

  • Shea Kennedy

    Today made koolaid
    My face puckered in disgust
    Forgot the sugar…

  • Simon Fahlström

    yo, dawg. like haiku?
    put “haiku” in the haiku
    read it when you read

    • Niko

      Yes! X to the Z baby!

  • Tango Campbell

    Hot Sean Status Foe
    I will tell all I know
    Or give me the shoes

  • imogen

    boom boom bo
    santa is here, cracked
    broke the shed

  • crstalmarie

    Here I am on Booooooom
    Trying to make a Haiku
    To win me some shoes

  • Mitch

    I idolize those
    who are stoned and exploring
    the intricate god.

  • niki

    if i win this thing
    my friends will think i am cool
    that is all i want

  • Ryan

    I need not want not,
    just to tie knots child play
    romance, sail away

  • Susana

    is these shoes i need?
    what a wonderful offer
    oh yes that poptart :D

  • Rob

    shoes i probs won’t win,
    good for someone bad for me,
    fuck i’ll just steal some

  • Annika

    A boy meets a girl.
    She finds out he’s a robot.
    They make sandwiches.

    This one isn’t mine, but I’ll share it for enjoyment:
    The panda is shot
    in the occipital lobe.
    What a nice bathrobe
    (credit goes to Stephen with a PH)

  • Kat

    to paint a picture
    is ugly as perfection
    serious business

  • i am a woman,
    things are bigger in texas,
    except the bushes.

  • dillon kogle

    my mom helped with this
    she’s never done a haiku
    hi ho hidey ho

  • Evan

    final entry:

    To be fair with you
    I’ll just trade the shoes for booze
    and/or prostitutes

  • Kurtis

    adorable girl
    tattooed she works the shoe store
    and i’ve no more soles

  • Owen

    go to bed with an
    itchy butt and the next day
    your finger smells bad

  • Kyle

    shoes shoes, what I need
    my feet so cold from the breeze
    i may have dim sum for lunch

  • sometimes I wake up
    and I feel like I’m no one
    then I fall inside

  • I once slipped outside
    And stood on my window sill
    dropped, and flew away

  • Katie

    Scrunch scrunch all 10 toes
    Beg me for more room to grow.
    Solve it, Status Foe.

  • I’m always so late
    because I look for the new
    in time this gets old

  • katie

    Walk the moon Christmas
    Zig Zag on the mountain tops
    Blast off now, Cyclops.

  • girls seem to like me
    but I am cold and evil
    so I stay away

  • the tree spoke to me
    or, perhaps it was satan
    alas, i listened

  • x-mas time is here
    warm wine and lord of the rings
    jesus was an elf

  • Simon Fahlström

    I mustache you this:
    Will the shoes match my whiskers?
    Would save me a shave.

  • linda saroeun

    all heel broken loose
    after you shoed up one day.
    made me sole crazy.

  • Christmas i love thee!
    Give me shoes, my pants i’ll pee!
    Poke me with chopsticks!

  • abt

    So as you can see
    i did a very good job.

    No further questions?

  • Jeremy

    grandma sat on knife
    she liked it and wanted more
    hey duck nice duck socks

  • Pia

    My Vans have a rip
    Choose me for this giveaway
    So I can be hip

  • Hi Ku, I know you-
    I wish you were a person
    You’d be so clever.

  • Richard

    Just scrolled down the page
    Have fun reading all these man
    It will take awhile

  • mp

    I once had red shoes
    but they tore on some garbage
    I would like new ones

  • Good Artists Borrow,
    Great Artists Steal ideas to win,
    Lovely pair of shoes

  • Avocado Tree.
    You Tree, are so good to Me.
    I’d like to thank Thee.

  • Robbie

    I stepped in dog poop
    Now my shoes lay here ruined
    The smell overwhelms

  • emma pace

    No one ever has
    Too many pairs of shoes, but
    Many have too few.

  • Garry

    I could use a new pair of shoes in this rainy Vancouver weather

  • so this is it huh?
    writin’ haikus to get kicks?
    dip dili doo dah!

  • The moose who liked shoes
    Liked being an ungulate
    But doesn’t wear them

  • sam

    my feet are real flat
    usualy i dont wear shoes
    this is simply fixed

  • Jeffrey

    i must have a pair
    but if i lose (certainly)
    do you ship for free?

  • ethan

    my shoes are a Pope
    they are a tasty swiss cheese
    so white and holey

  • óóh lálálá…
    hey hellO

  • Marcus D.

    I’m scared of Gingers
    Because none of them have souls
    Carrot Top hates me

  • Today I spoke haiku
    To my friends and now to you
    I want those damn shoes!

  • lori mill

    if i ask my dog
    for a kiss, he growls and snarls
    i love him anyway

  • Ronald Wu

    Haikus the sexy
    I really love the white one
    Pure and grandiose

  • Trev

    Shoes shoes shoes shoes shoes
    “Shoes” is just one syllable
    This is easy, shoes

  • kostaw

    300 people rushed like hyenas on seven pairs of shoes
    and still suffer from hunger…in Africa

  • Seb

    docious. that is all.

  • Catherine

    there are so many
    yet i never win any
    oh pick me, oh please

  • annie

    want shoes for christmas
    instead i’ll get bad lotion
    next time, i won’t ask

  • alex

    like, oh my god, shoes
    cute, but don’t make good haikus
    wish they were chartreuse

  • I am a robot
    My emotion chip is gone

  • my ancestor was
    Japanese. as a tribute
    to that, give shoes please??!

  • amirio freeman

    amazing shoes!

  • gleaming the cube man
    is far more enlightening
    with shoes of black gold

  • pdat

    i need shoes!!!:(

  • Shoes are for walking,
    running, jumping and hiking,
    but not for eating.

  • Had some drinks last night,
    Should have bought new shoes instead,
    Free ones would be nice.

  • I wear a size ten
    But these shoes won’t be for me

  • Lil

    put shoes on my bum
    but then unfortunately
    develop bum boils

  • germstodd

    Every “o” in,
    Is one syllable.

  • germstodd

    Roses are red, and
    Violets are blue, I hope to
    Win one pair of shoes.

  • flip flops have rotted
    slippers fail this new york snow
    i have the shoe blues

  • your hands are rough
    and your feet so small
    this moon is so round and bright!

  • Give me some shoes bitch
    My feet got a nasty itch
    For some hot new kicks

  • John

    My pants are my boss.
    It’s been a tough quarter. Shoes
    are pink-slipped again.

  • Jennifer M

    Poetry bores me.
    I’d rather read a phone book.
    Look, ninety-eight Smiths!

  • Lucas Maciuk

    I have got 9 toes.
    I cut one off mowing grass.
    Feel bad for my feet.

  • Rhonda G

    Indulge shoe fetish
    Lick laces caress uppers
    Sell not soul for soles

  • I won shoes last year
    Thanks to Sean at Status Foe
    I have worn them out

  • Naomi

    i once knew blue shoe
    he was new and one of two
    kangaroo ate him…

  • all across east van
    ride my bike im so cayenne
    now i need those shoes

  • Mike Milett

    my feet are bare and
    my feet, I reckon, don’t like
    it that way one bit.

  • arlo

    it’s unfortunate
    kanye west gets so much play
    talent ain’t talent

  • two bananas won
    they wore their favorite shoes
    to the store they’ve gone

  • John

    Won’t keep these Zig Zags.
    Give them to someone in need.
    Suck on that, hipsters.

  • Jason

    My nose is running
    It is very cold outside
    My toes are freezing

  • iman

    Hey Jeff Hamada
    Those shoes are very nice man!
    can I have them now?

  • Russ

    Shoes on my feetsies
    That would make me so neatsies
    Jump in the streetsies!

  • Ellen

    I like these shoes but
    I live in Kalamazoo
    not so practical

    (for snow)

  • funemployment ah
    rice and beans, oatmeal carrots
    doing what i love

  • Belinda

    Status Foe has cool shoes
    Great styles, colors, and prices
    but free shoes are the nicest

  • if i were Jermaine
    from the flight of the conchords
    i’d write you a song

  • if ‘BOOOOOOOM,’ I whisper
    is an iceberg of artists
    the tip is hipsters

    beatles on itunes
    what an interesting world
    we are living in

    facebook me tonight
    tweet about it tomorrow
    call me whenever

    you’re just a number, my friend
    but arriving soon

  • Once upon a time,
    I sat down and hummed a tune.
    Turns out he was black.


  • Sheenasaurusrex

    unicorns frolic
    ample kicks bestowed by gods
    Foe will enable

  • alex mortimer

    after the dinner
    shoes will still fit my body
    though trousers may not

  • Kristeebaby

    i have one shoe, left.
    the right thought adventure was
    around the corner.

  • John Dumalig

    Shoot where you want to
    Walk a mile in someone’s shoes
    Im a straight gangsta

  • Gabrielle

    Although I’ve got sole,
    I will hold my foes too close;
    I cannot be a soldier

  • Kelaine

    winter solstice souls
    dancing brightly snowy soles
    warm toes jing-jangling

  • sese

    you give shoes away
    and you are not my uncle
    a barefoot camel

  • Family gatherings
    Stuffing up a turkey’s butt

  • my girlfriend’s pregnant
    there is a hole in my shoe
    santa claus fuck you

  • Peter Pixel

    beautifully sings the bird
    the lion a huge fart makes
    silent, nature now is

  • Arthur

    the blue high-tops are
    my favorites out of the
    four pictured above

  • Kevin

    Everywhere I go…
    The leaves go: snap, crackle, pop.
    And I go: stomp, stomp!

  • Thom

    I got pickles today,
    Squinted my eyes,
    Juicy money

  • ireland_ireland

    These shoes are superb.
    I’m surrounded by rednecks,
    teach them a lesson.

  • Oh, hooray! Hoorah!
    I certainly do love shoes
    exclamation point

  • oh my deranged path
    cant I ever just walk straight
    fuck that zig zig zag

  • feet, carry me far
    on the glow-in-the-dark paths

  • kaitlyn

    You call THAT, “haiku?”
    Seems more like “cuckoo” to me.
    But, what do I know.

  • i kill unicorns
    drink their blood, i could def use
    a SOLE, am i right?

  • Micah

    I’d like a pair please
    If you are teasing, I swear
    A lot don’t mind me

  • Nea

    For winter you could
    need warm shoes, but who would
    spear a pair or two

  • Evan

    i lied! these are way too fun…

    I’m a “never-nude”,
    and need these shoes to shower.
    these cut-offs grow sour

  • The winter is cold
    Both my feet need a new home
    Santa is watching

  • kiersten

    mono and strep throat
    christmas eve diagnosis
    take pity on me

  • Micah

    life is wonderful
    with a little bit of gold
    and shoes on my feet

  • I cant believe that
    Sean over at Status Foe
    wants to please me feet

  • a cat

    I’m so cool, damn yeah,
    I am a mother fucker,
    Gimme those neat shoes! Now!

  • nika

    glass, spices and wigali dam
    shoe, shoe away
    said the man in the tower

  • Juan

    It is a wild world.
    I have lost my useful shoes.
    I am in need now.

  • ellen garcia

    Santa has big shoes
    Wears them ev’ry Christmas night
    Kids love him for it!

  • Mathew

    desperately in need of shoes
    one plus two makes five

  • Stephanie

    a definition
    zig zag – exceptional shoes
    mo’ deep mo’ funky

    • hahaha mo deep mo funky is brought back to life

      • stephanie

        i thought you might enjoy that :)

  • Kile

    wondering barefoot
    I found you at moonlight beach
    barefooted we kiss

  • emptiness-
    falls like a rock
    on my toes

  • i want to get shoes
    it snowed all day yesterday
    socks are not enough

  • Sharon

    Sex in spike heel boots
    is fun ’til someone gets hurt
    Don’t put my eye out.


  • Aaron

    sure, i have some shoes.
    but who says i can’t have more.
    dont be THAT guy, jeff

  • if i get your shoes,
    i promise not to eat them:
    they aint oreos.

  • I am not a girl
    I could use these for my bro
    for late christmas gift

  • Nasimeh

    Came to write for shoes
    But -ah!- nature promptly called
    Go, Nasimeh, Go

  • Khalil

    My cat needs two shoes
    I bought her two shoes last week
    forgot she had four paws

  • Austin Voll

    I think I might be,
    An immortal or something.
    I haven’t died yet.

  • Austin Voll

    If I was a fish,
    I would swim into your soup,
    And begin to poop.

  • Austin Voll

    My dad was manly.
    He was tall and strong and mean.
    But he was a dick.

  • Austin Voll

    I dated a shoe.
    She was a freak in the bed.
    She died, where’s her friend?

  • haiku about shoes?
    why not something random like
    coo coo caw chu pooh?

  • P.X.K.

    The ladies love shoes;
    So by default i love shoes;
    Because i love babes;

  • My feet need a home
    Such great shoes will keep them warm
    But I have no clothes

  • modern man: car man
    ten toes wiggle in snow: no man
    two feet: go man go

  • m.a.w.

    Shoe shoe shoe shoe shoe
    shoe shoe shoe shoe shoe shoe shoe
    shoe shoe shoe winner

  • The WINNERS (as picked by Sean from Status Foe):

    20:12:10 KATIE:
    Walk the moon Christmas
    Zig Zag on the mountain tops
    Blast off now, Cyclops.

    20:12:10 MARK:
    Jef-fers Hamada
    Crisp fab Honda Miata
    Wait it is Mazda

    20:12:10 KATE HUMPHREYS:
    milk milk lemonade,
    I drink them up everyday.
    juice a lemon cow.

    20:12:10 DAVID ROBINSON:
    A shoe with no sole
    Is like a soul with no shoes
    Wait–no it is not

    20:12:10 HALEY JONES:
    pickles fit in shoes
    bubblegum ice cream would too
    i like both of those

    20:12:10 LEANNE:
    Used to be size ten
    then my toes were severed off
    Now I wear a nine

    20:12:10 DOUGLAS:
    “Literarily Bare”
    moby’s deck shoes sank
    the last of the moccasins
    scarlet leather soles

    CONGRATS all of you Sean has your emails and will be contacting you – thanks to everyone else who entered, stay tuned for more giveaways!

25.07.17 by Jeff

Illustrator Spotlight: Alice Conisbee

A selection of work by illustrator Alice Conisbee. More images below.

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25.07.17 by Staff

Artist Spotlight: Bette Burgoyne

A selection of recent drawings by Seattle-based artist Bette Burgoyne, including her latest foray into working with colour. Click here for previous post. More images below.

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25.07.17 by Staff

Artist Spotlight: Roger White

Paintings by artist Roger White. See more “Mirror” images below.

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25.07.17 by Jeff

Illustrator Spotlight: Boris Pelcer

A selection of work by illustrator Boris Pelcer. More images below.

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24.07.17 by Staff

Artist Spotlight: Val Britton

A selection of recent work by artist Val Britton (previously featured here). See more images below, courtesy of the artist and Gallery Wendi Norris, San Francisco.

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