23.10.12 by Jeff

Free site for Life / Virb Giveaway

Free Website for Life / Virb Giveaway
My friends at Virb are letting me hook up another one of you with a free site for life. So if you’re looking for an easy way to show off your work but you have no money, this is your lucky day!

If you wanna win the free site for life all you need to do is describe the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you.

Leave a comment below, I’ll pick a winner on Friday Nov 2.

CONGRATS TO CRAIG BUDOVITCH, the Virb staff picked you as the winner of a FREE Virb site for life! Congrats!





  • GABE

    The most embarrassing thing thats ever happened to me was playing ring around the rosy in 1st grade and feeling very sick, and when we were “all falling down” and holding hands, i was the only one still standing, and had yaked all over myself! wonderful!

  • Mark Karwowski

    I have been a design graduate for 5 months and have started my first design job. I am in desperate need of online portfolio face lifted!!! Mark Karwowski

    • http://www.booooooom.com/ Jeff Hamada

      if you intentionally didn’t follow the instructions as a way of making this the most embarassing thing that has happened to you, bravo! well played

      • JLNP7

        Well I just figured being a sore thumb always helps!

  • Ian Winship

    In high school I accidentally said “vagina” instead of “Virginia” during an Oral Presentation in front of the whole class. Only the 20-something teacher laughed.

  • JLNP7

    Jeff,
    I have been trying tirelessly to create as much artwork as possible to show people my creative pieces. I am a college kid trying to make a living out of being an artist and this free website would do wonders for me. I hope I can win such a great gift from you! I’ve been an active BOOOOOOOM fan for quite some time now! If you need to check out my stuff just look for me on instagram as JLNP7, thank you.
    Best of luck to ya!

  • Molly Steele

    Hi,

    Back when I was thinking of moving to LA to become a famouz m0d3L I came out for a few weeks to do runway shows and test shoots. I was around 16. I did this show in which I had to wear a bikini and heels and walk down a fucking massive runway that I had already done other shows down. However, the chaos of the week allowed for a lapse in my memory of what to do at the end of the runway…was I supposed to turn around and come back (yes, I was), or was I supposed to walk off the stairs that were at the end of the runway for the other shows. Well. I walk down the runway…things are going great, no tripping or whatever. Get to the end of the runway, do the little pose, and then WHAM!! I stepped off the runway onto stairs that were NO LONGER THERE and fell 4-5 feet….Luckily I landed standing up in my heels, but I just ran and hid under some chairs for a long time until the show was over. I got an agent after that.

  • Molly Steele

    Hi,

    Back when I was thinking of moving to LA to become a famouz m0d3L I came out for a few weeks to do runway shows and test shoots. I was around 16. I did this show in which I had to wear a bikini and heels and walk down a fucking massive runway that I had already done other shows down. However, the chaos of the week allowed for a lapse in my memory of what to do at the end of the runway…was I supposed to turn around and come back (yes, I was), or was I supposed to walk off the stairs that were at the end of the runway for the other shows. Well. I walk down the runway…things are going great, no tripping or whatever. Get to the end of the runway, do the little pose, and then WHAM!! I stepped off the runway onto stairs that were NO LONGER THERE and fell 4-5 feet….Luckily I landed standing up in my heels, but I just ran and hid under some chairs for a long time until the show was over. I got an agent after that.

    • http://www.booooooom.com/ Jeff Hamada

      haha

    • http://www.booooooom.com/ Jeff Hamada

      haha

    • http://www.booooooom.com/ Jeff Hamada

      haha

    • http://www.booooooom.com/ Jeff Hamada

      haha

    • http://www.booooooom.com/ Jeff Hamada

      haha

    • http://www.booooooom.com/ Jeff Hamada

      haha

    • http://www.booooooom.com/ Jeff Hamada

      haha

    • http://www.booooooom.com/ Jeff Hamada

      haha

    • http://www.booooooom.com/ Jeff Hamada

      haha

    • http://www.booooooom.com/ Jeff Hamada

      haha

  • Molly Steele

    Hi,

    Back when I was thinking of moving to LA to become a famouz m0d3L I came out for a few weeks to do runway shows and test shoots. I was around 16. I did this show in which I had to wear a bikini and heels and walk down a fucking massive runway that I had already done other shows down. However, the chaos of the week allowed for a lapse in my memory of what to do at the end of the runway…was I supposed to turn around and come back (yes, I was), or was I supposed to walk off the stairs that were at the end of the runway for the other shows. Well. I walk down the runway…things are going great, no tripping or whatever. Get to the end of the runway, do the little pose, and then WHAM!! I stepped off the runway onto stairs that were NO LONGER THERE and fell 4-5 feet….Luckily I landed standing up in my heels, but I just ran and hid under some chairs for a long time until the show was over. I got an agent after that.

  • Molly Steele

    Hi,

    Back when I was thinking of moving to LA to become a famouz m0d3L I came out for a few weeks to do runway shows and test shoots. I was around 16. I did this show in which I had to wear a bikini and heels and walk down a fucking massive runway that I had already done other shows down. However, the chaos of the week allowed for a lapse in my memory of what to do at the end of the runway…was I supposed to turn around and come back (yes, I was), or was I supposed to walk off the stairs that were at the end of the runway for the other shows. Well. I walk down the runway…things are going great, no tripping or whatever. Get to the end of the runway, do the little pose, and then WHAM!! I stepped off the runway onto stairs that were NO LONGER THERE and fell 4-5 feet….Luckily I landed standing up in my heels, but I just ran and hid under some chairs for a long time until the show was over. I got an agent after that.

  • Molly Steele

    Hi,

    Back when I was thinking of moving to LA to become a famouz m0d3L I came out for a few weeks to do runway shows and test shoots. I was around 16. I did this show in which I had to wear a bikini and heels and walk down a fucking massive runway that I had already done other shows down. However, the chaos of the week allowed for a lapse in my memory of what to do at the end of the runway…was I supposed to turn around and come back (yes, I was), or was I supposed to walk off the stairs that were at the end of the runway for the other shows. Well. I walk down the runway…things are going great, no tripping or whatever. Get to the end of the runway, do the little pose, and then WHAM!! I stepped off the runway onto stairs that were NO LONGER THERE and fell 4-5 feet….Luckily I landed standing up in my heels, but I just ran and hid under some chairs for a long time until the show was over. I got an agent after that.

  • named & shamed

    This one time, at band camp…

  • Ashley

    When I was a freshman in college I went to a costume party and had a bit to drink. I went home went to bed everything was normal. Until I woke up and 2 EMT’s were asking me if I was OK (I was fine at this point) But my roommate freaked out in the middle of the night and called the RA because I peed in the middle of our dorm room floor because I thought it was the bathroom!

  • Jimmy _Mac

    I once used a plant bulb instead of an onion when making my family a chilli, we were violently sick all night and in bed the following day, turns out they were toxic or something like that. Im not sure what is more embarrassing causing my family severe pain or the fact I was unable to distinguish a plant bulb from an onion.

    • http://www.booooooom.com/ Jeff Hamada

      hahaha

    • http://www.booooooom.com/ Jeff Hamada

      hahaha

    • http://www.booooooom.com/ Jeff Hamada

      hahaha

    • http://www.booooooom.com/ Jeff Hamada

      hahaha

    • http://www.booooooom.com/ Jeff Hamada

      hahaha

  • renata

    well, it was my first semester on design faculty, when everyone was getting to know each other. we all were in a class that the teacher was bringing speakers every week. in the middle of a presentation, i decided to drink some water of my cute new bottle but then I choked and I spit all over my desk… of course I was sitting in the front row, just in front of the speaker and of the entire class! everything (me either) got wet and i was so disturbed that i couldn’t even move and clean that mess – I remember that my cheeks were on fire! so then a friend (will always remember him for that) helped me up to recompose myself and thank god nobody remember as the self-sabotage girl

  • http://twitter.com/AlexParisi Alex Parisi

    It was my second week at a new job and I was shooting the breeze with a few co-workers. Just your standard friendly chit-chat & joking around. For some reason in my seated position I had my leg up and folded up towards me. First a joke, and then some laughs, and then a nice toot came trumpeting out of my rear. I didn’t even feel it coming in time to try and cover it up with a cough or fake sneeze. Yet after the blast nobody acknowledged my blunder. There were no laughs, no smirks, or anyone calling “safety” on me to lighten the mood. After all, they didn’t know me well enough to make fun of me even though I was hoping they would because I know it was heard! Instead, it was ignored and made a mildly embarrassing event worse.

  • mischayl

    One day in high school, I left school early and decided to take the long way to the subway alone. Invisible ice was a thing I forgot about that winter and I thought strutting to my music would make the walk more enjoyable. While crossing Broadway, I slipped and fell on my butt, sitting in the middle of two-way traffic at a red light. I didn’t get up for a while because I couldn’t believe it happened and I was hoping nobody saw but.. I was sitting in the middle of the road, all eyes from inside the cars and from the sidewalk on me. I happened to be the only lucky person crossing the street at the time but thankfully, a couple helped me up and we laughed it off.

  • dockhands

    During my first week at work, I attended a conference out at UBC with my new colleagues that I just met. We had a meet n greet at 8am, with everyone at the conference. I was nervous and tired, so I decided to grab a coffee from the buffet. As I was walking over I saw a water urn and decided to fill my tumblr mug with cold water first. So I took a big long swig of water but it turned out that the water wasn’t hot. It was fucking boiling hot, it wasn’t even water. it was practically water vapor. anyways, i couldn’t swallow it and everyone was watching so i had to let all the water drip all over my shirt and tie. at this point i was really embarrassed and flustered, but i tried to play it off and continued for my coffee. while everyone was staring at me, i began trying to fill my tumblr mug under the coffee urn. it didnt fit, so i had to tilt it at an angle over the table. well… i turned the nozzle on, but after 10 seconds I noticed that my tumblr mug wasn’t filling up. in fact, the coffee was pouring into my tumblr, then spilling down the back on the outside, right onto my khakis. my entire right leg was stained with coffee. at this point everyone was staring and giggling at me. I hid in the bathroom for the next 2 hours.
    I like to think that I did it on purpose, just to get the life long website.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sam-Hensen/1401720020 Sam Hensen

    When I was entering high school, around the 9th grade, I did most of the typical style/hair choices to be ‘cool’ especially for those in older classes. One day is was particularly windy and cold, to a point that doors would swing open by barely touching them. I swung out the side of our main building to an oncoming group of seniors, in my attempt to play it off and just be ‘cool’ I hocked back a loogie, because I somehow thats awesome right? My dumb ass spit in front of me just as a huge gust came, this enormous wad just flew back on my face right in front of them…pretty bad.

  • Sean

    The first night I met my girlfriend we got snowed in with no power and no running water. We ordered pizza, which wasn’t smart as I am lactose intolerant. Cue gurgling gassy stomach, the deep rumble of impending doom. I give myself a pep talk that I can make it until the power comes back on so I don’t have to leave a toilet full of turd all night, but we get to drinking and eventually I have to pee. So I open the flood gates and everything is going well when suddenly-I sharted a soft-serve chocolatey mess in my pants. I’m still not sure why she called me again…

  • d-one

    letting a squeaker slip in yoga class…all heads turned and looked right at me…good times.

  • http://www.gannonburgett.com Gannon Burgett

    While on an 8th grade trip to Washington D.C., my class and I were on a large bus which was designed for sitting during the day and sleeping at night. One of the teachers had a striking resemblance to my friends; especially while driving in the dark at two in the morning. Well, I was on my phone and I missed the memo to put it away. The (physical education) teacher came over and tried to grab my phone. I figured it was my friend, so I flicked him in the eye without really looking as to who it was. I was viscously greeted by the worst titty-twister of my life, which made my nipple bleed. The entire bus, both guys and girls never let me live down the fact my gym teacher made my nipple bleed.

  • cathrynx

    Easily I would say my most embarrassing moment was a few years ago. While working at a newspaper, I mis-typed a headline which should have been “Award Winning Magician”. Instead I typed “Award Sinning Magician.” The irony being that he was a religious evangelical magician. I still haven’t lived that down.

  • steven

    The entirety of middle school. Bad taste in music and baby fat.

  • Sylvius

    Once I was a great artist but had no dough to get myself a website, broke….so embarrassing man!

  • Superdaimos

    The most embarassing day in my life was when i was in second grade and i had a case of diarrhea in school and didnt get to the bathroom on time! Got shit all over my pants and the teacher had to wash both my underwear and pants and hanged them outside the classroom by the bushes! And to top it off like icing on the cake, i happen to be sitting next to the class “muse” in the classroom, so there i was sitting next to a pretty girl with my shirt but with no pants on!!!!

  • craig Budovitch

    This summer I was traveling to South Africa and was on an over night plane ride of 14 hours from London. I was sitting beside a very attractive, very well to do business women who informed me she was a lawyer in South Africa. I had never met her before. After some wine and conversation we both dozed off. Now for the embarrassing part… Because we were sitting beside each other and likely because there was turbulence I had a dream that I was a passenger, driving in a car on a highway with this lawyer women (She was driving us). As we are driving (still in my dream) she starts to fall asleep, and our car starts to swerve to the point that I am now terrified for my life. So terrified in fact that from a completely sleeping state, I grab and shake this poor sleeping women, who I have known for about 4 hours and scream “WAKE UP, Were About to Crash! Needless to say this scares the SHIT out of her and everyone around me, considering we are flying over the atlantic ocean, at night. I HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS EMBARRASSED IN MY LIFE! Luckly, after I explained what happened, she actually thought it was very funny, and told me to go back to sleep. She was really great, but I still felt like such a jerk. This story is COMPLETELY TRUE! If I win the website for life, it will at least make me feel a little less like a jackass :)

    • Brad

      Haha, only you could explain your way out of that one, Craig. Glad you won the site for life, bud.

  • David

    im mexican!

  • Patrick

    When I was in elementary school, I got a new pair of shorts that I thought were super sweet. They were bright blue and had numbers on them, like a sports jersey. Problem was, they were really short shorts, and (being a boy) that was definitely not the style of the moment. The first day I wore them to school, I woke up filled with restless anticipation. I couldn’t wait to sport them at school, it was going to be the coolest. First class that day at school was P.E. For P.E. class we took turns every week leading the class in warm-up stretches. It was my turn that week, so I jumped up and stood in front of the class. Before I could start the first stretch position, a girl in the front, who I had had the HUGEST crush on all year, yelled out for all to hear “Are those your underwear?!” Everyone laughed and laughed. The P.E. teacher laughed. Never wore the shorts again.

  • Q

    I farted at a Christmas party and blamed it on my friends dog. Thing is, I didn’t realize his dog had died three days ago.

  • http://twitter.com/corey_vaughan Corey Vaughan

    I asked a friend out to senior prom with a banana. It gets worse. Two friends and I agreed in togetherness to ask our 3 female friends out in prankster fashion. I went first, before lunch… my date was not happy (but she said yes). My buddies, instead of asking their dates out via elaborate prank, drove to a flower shop during lunch. The two lady friends left LOVED the flowers, and I looked like a total jerk-wad to my date. There is no recovering from a banana bouquet. Well played, boys. Well played.

  • michelle

    Tonight, I was on the shuttle at my school, ready to go to my car and drive home after a long day. I sat down and put all of my stuff on the chair next to me. As I sat down, I felt like I needed to pull my pants up a little. So, I stood up and pulled up the right back side of my pants with my right hand, only they weren’t my pants–I totally grabbed my underwear and pretty much gave myself a huge wedgie in front of everyone. I Just sat back down without even fixing it, cursing under my breath.

    • http://www.booooooom.com/ Jeff Hamada

      hahaa — i find stuff like this often more embarassing than really over the top things

  • http://www.facebook.com/maxx.hillery Maxx Hillery

    Once, I slept over a friends house, and in the morning I was struck by the realization that I hadn’t showered in a few days, so I asked to use their shower and went through a typical routine and entered the shower. Whilst showering, I noticed a strange device hung from the showerhead, adorned with a button. In my naivety, I pushed the button. The device was a shower cleaner, and it sprayed me with some awful cleaner, straight across my eyes. Needless to say, I screamed, and was embarrassed to find my friend laughing himself half to death as he realized why I was screaming.
    It sucked.
    – Maxx H.

  • Seth

    Hi. The most embarrassing moment in my life was attending an E3 conference in LA wearing a swimsuit, a Tshirt, and some shoes with socks. Ok that’s not the embarrassing part. In mid-conversation with a small group of people, my friend ran up behind me and pantsed me without realizing I was wearing only a swimsuit and nothing underneath – bare buttocks flapping in the wind.

  • kelsey ochs

    I puked in the service elevator escaping from pirates of the caribbean at disneyland–the worst part about it at the time was the guy who was the ride attendant was about 18 and very cute, and I was a vomiting, pimply, 13 year old mess. At least things have gotten better since then!

  • http://www.facebook.com/meganlnguyen Megan Nguyen

    In high school PE one day, we had to play football. My team was made up of all of my friends, including the boy I had a crush on. Somewhere in between the game him and I were running after our opponent…in an effort to grab the ball from her we both ended up running really hard into each other instead. Nothing happened to him but the impact cracked my head open. Blood was everywhere. People on the bleachers could see the blood from the top of the rows. Even though I could walk the school officials forced me to ride a golf cart to the nurse’s office. Class just ended so I sat in a golf cart looking like a zombie while the whole school stared at me in shock while getting to their next class. When I finally got to the nurse’s office she shrieked when she saw me and told me that I had to clean myself up in the bathroom before my dad showed up and had a heart attack……in the end I got stitches and to add to more embarrassment, my eye swelled up so I had a shiny black bruise and scary stitches for weeks after.

  • http://www.facebook.com/shangrila6 Lucia Kheoki

    I’m sure there was something really embarrassing since i blocked it out of my mind and i chose to not remember it anytime soon!

  • Laurent

    Well .. I think my wrost story was when my ex-wife and the plumber discovered that hundreds of condoms were the cause of the septic tank problems .. my wife and I were obviously not using condoms… that is where the problems started, and so did my embarrassment !

  • Jarrod Mathieu

    Hello good Sir, the most embarrassing moment in my life was in grade one of primary school. I was busting and I had asked my teacher to let me go pee but she wouldn’t let me, after a long time I asked again, she let me. I ran, however as I was running to the bathroom I peed my pants and begain crying my eyes out walked back to class in shame(all whilst still crying) went in class and said “look what you made me do.” The whole class saw, me cry and wet myself.

  • Phone Sex?

    Embarrassing things happen to me often. I do things like walk into walls, rip the seam my pants, unknowingly get ink on my face, or spill water all over myself the moment a cute guy hits on me. But what I have learned through this, is that people who get embarrassed, take life too seriously. I have learned to laugh at myself with others, dust off my shoulder, and continue on knowing that I am not the only one these things have happened to.

    One thing still gets me embarrassed when thinking about it though, and I may be the only one this has happened to (I hope at least). It involves SEX. Yep. I am going there. I have a few stories I could spin, high on the embarrassed-o-meter, in this category. Simply having sex is in no way embarrassing, but it is the ideal setting for horrible embarrassing things to happen. I think all could agree to that. My situation goes like this. My boyfriends father is a pastor, and a wonderful man. My boyfriend carries the things he learned growing up in a christian home in his heart, but gave up the religion long ago. Thus, he and I have guilt-free sex and it is awesome. One time having some afternoon delight, his father decides to call us in the middle of the action. Naturally, my boyfriend pushed his phone off the bed and we continued. Now what is tricky about phones these days is just how sensitive those touch screens are. Apparently, in the quick swiping off the bed motion, a quick answering of the phone happened as well. And in this moment his very conservative father was lucky enough to hear me climaxing. Oh joy. (Am I actually telling this to so many strangers? Hah). Anyyyhow. We find this out once we have finished and my boyfriend realizes his father left him a voicemail, giving his two-cents about what he had just heard. I was mortified. He had a good heart-to-heart with Dad, to try and smooth things over, but let’s just say I was busy for the next few family dinners.

    So yes. There you have it. My boyfriend and I had sex and his conservative pastor father heard it all through the phone. It really is quite bad. Sounds like it should be in a movie no? But that’s my life!

  • zac

    i felt bad. at work i bumped into an old lady while bringing a pizza to a table and broke her leg the day after her surgery……..

  • Stephen

    In primary school, a few of us liked to play this rough game on the swingsets where we would bump each other into the poles. I faced a stocky 6th grader who shouldered me so hard that I began a wide parabola on the swing. Upon descent I realized there was no way this would end well, as my crotch was en route to the pole that upheld the swings.

    Worse yet, the overweight 50+ year old teacher came running across the yard and insisted on inspecting the damage. Nothing more humiliating for a 5th grade Stephen than having his bloody and bruised appendage scrutinized by Mrs B.

  • http://www.facebook.com/simon.berard Simon Bérard

    It was in art school a year ago. I accidentally poured an ink bottle on a work of a good friend of mine. I was sooo embarassed, didn’t know what to do at all

  • Shovelupgold

    Hey ,

    when I was around 9-11 my mum used to use games workshop ( shop where you play warhammer) as pretty much free childcare lol .
    This was all well and good, I would paint models all day thinking my ultramarines were the coolest kids on the block. she normally gave me some money for lunch. I decided to spend this on warhammer models. this eventually back fired when I needed the toilet one day and me having no money couldn’t use the public urinals as they cost money to use. Frantically running around looking for somewhere to relieve myself however this is insanely hard in a built up city. So after trying to hold it in for half an hour i just say fuck it and wet myself in the middle of this games workshop. Having the pubescent attempting to grow a beard simply laugh at me , was a little bit of an all time low… got even worse when my mum would get me another pair of trousers so i had to wear the soaked trousers for the rest of the 5 hour day … every new customer had there own piece of advice but none of them with a new pair of trousers lol.

    from your uk artist/designer
    J

  • Ronald Gerrits

    I once filled in a Sex Questionnaire. But without good reading of the terms, it got published with my name attached to it!

  • http://www.ryanhamrick.com Hamrick

    Just the other day, my 4 year-old daughter and I were trying to find a doctor’s office in a local medical building. We were having trouble, so we went to ask the security guard for help.

    The security guard was a sizable fella, so naturally, as I’m asking him where we might find this particular office, my little girl feels compelled to ask him if he’s going to have a baby. He didn’t appear to have heard her at first, because he continued giving me the directions I needed. Unwilling to accept a non-answer, she proceeded to continue asking him about his baby and when he was going to have it.

    He never reacted, and I sure wasn’t going to call attention to it, but there’s absolutely no way he didn’t hear her.

  • lpetrick

    meeting my boyfriends parents for the first time at a fancy restaurant. i was dressing to impress – pretty dress nice pair of heels. the night was going good, when it was time to leave we were walking through the restaurant and boom, my leg went up and my body went back. it was like i was in a cartoon and i slipped on a banana peel. ive never lived it down.

  • http://simonh.me Simon H.

    Most embarrassing thing that happened to me? Getting caught smoking in an elementary school yard when I was what, 12 or 13?

  • Insolente

    I was at my girlfriend’s home, having dinner with his parents for the first time. I excuse myself and went to the bathroom for a second. Not “for a second” I mean… I didn’t have to pee. It wa one of those restored country house’s, and the porcelain cistern of the toilet was placed on the wall, above the toilet, near the roof. Anyways, I pseudo-finished my thing and thought it would be a good idea to pull the flushing chain while still sitting. I must have pulled it to hard, because I woke up on my girlfriend’s parents bed, with some underwear that wasn’t mine and my head hurting like hell.

    I marry the girl, but she never told me the details.

  • jana singer

    In high school I accidentally dyed my hair bright pink permanently using what was supposed to have been a rinse out dye. In order to make my crazy new hair color blend in for school photos, I thought it would be a great move to wear a pink hat that matched the hair. When I showed up, the backdrop was the exact same shade of pink as well. The resulting visual effect was giant head with the top cut off – not the best look.

    • Mandy

      I want to see this.

  • anonymous

    I wore Uggs to Coachella.

  • Alex Thebez

    In my junior year of high-school, I managed to save up some money to buy my own iPod. It was a rainy day and my high school was up a hill in Singapore. I was trying to get home, and there is this shuttle bus that would take you from up the hill down to the main street / bus stop. Otherwise, the walk down the hill would be around 20 minutes.

    Since the weather was fresh and breezy, I thought I’d walk down and listen to my iPod – I had just put the first All American Rejects album on it.

    Unfortunately, I somehow came across a hive of hornets that ended up swarming me and sending me to the hospital. I passed out, and was ambulanced to the hospital.

    Fast forward to the hospital: I came to, semi-conscious because I needed to go to the bathroom. I vaguely remembered a doctor saying that I will have to poop a lot due to some toxin flushing medication that they administered.

    I soiled myself in my bed, and wanted to go to the bathroom to clean myself.

    As I stumbled out of my bed, I realized that the principal of my school and a bunch of my classmates had showed up with some flowers to see how I was doing.

    I stood there, in a hospital gown, with a swollen face from the stings and diarrhea dripping down my ass.

    Great times.

  • Zack

    I was staying over at a friend’s house once. Before going to sleep, his mother said she would set the house alarm for the night. I asked what time she was setting the alarm for. She said, no sweetie, it’s a security alarm.

  • http://www.facebook.com/hugorhenriques Hugo Henriques

    i´m still trying to work in Portugal as an illustrator!! Odd when you look at the numbers.

  • Alison

    In middle school I was doing exercises in the school pool, I then got out to stand in line to do the next exercise, and a boy pointed at my legs and said “you know you’re bleeding, right?”

    And I had started my period without knowing it. Another boy had to escort me to the locker room.
    Looking back on it now I laugh.

  • JD

    I was playing frisbee with this girl I was into, and she got all up in my face to play some defense, and I was doing all these fakes, and then i threw the frisbee super hard, and it hit her right between the eyes. she got a massive bloody nose and half a black eye. not my smoothest move

  • Jack

    I don’t have the ambition to take the steps necessary to acquire my own website or pay the bills. Give me one.

  • JOJ

    Well, one time I was at a park with my brother. It was a Sunday so we were kind of being lazy. just hanging out with a couple of friends. So, I end up bumping in to this girl that I knew in high school. We start chatting and stuff when I decide I might as her out on a date. (Mind you, I said it was a lazy day and I was wearing pajama pants) Don’t ask me why I decided to hit on a girl wearing pajama pants. but whatever, some might call me brave. Anyway, I look over at my brother and his friends and they are just looking at me, laughing their asses off for reasons I don’t know. The girl looks down, and got pissed. apparently, my penis was hanging out of the slip in the front of my pants the whole time. My brother and his friends noticed that she noticed and just laughed even harder. She slapped me in the face thinking I was playing a joke on her in front of my friends. Needless to say, no date for me. But i guess I got a funny story out of it.

  • ben

    …..2nd grade. peed while standing and saying the pledge of allegiance…just couldn’t hold it in.

  • rhond

    In 2nd grade, we couldn’t leave the lunchroom and then come back in; if you left, you had to stay out, which is moronic because the bathroom was out. I had to pee pretty bad but, guess what? wasn’t done with my lunch! So I held it….or, TRIED to hold it. At the end of lunch we would go to the big trash cans and empty out our trash before heading out to the playground. By the time I got to the trashcan, it just started coming out, no stopping it, life of its own. So I squatted down with my lunchbox on the floor and said “my lunchbox is leaking! it’s lemonade!” and this kid Laurent who was witnessing this informed everyone around me that it was not lemonade, but that I was peeing. Smart-ass kid!
    That is the most embarrassing thing that immediately came to mind. I’m sure if I sat here and thought about it, some more recent, extremely embarrassing things would come to mind that i am probably trying to block out.

  • :(

    i dated a second cousin (unbeknownst to me, of course) for two weeks in middle school. my friends and family will never let this go.

  • Cumulo7

    The first time I ever kissed a girl my friend pulled my trousers down. it’s a funny memory now.

  • emilyawebb

    Awhile back I was getting a physical at the doctors office. It was myself, the doctor and 2 interns/nurses in the room. As I’m climbing up on the bed/table thing, I rip the loudest fart.. Everyone was completely silent.. The doctor had to turn away to hold in his laugh. I think I was about 13 and completely mortified..

  • TheBryson

    I was 12 and my neighbor/best friend wanted me to come outside to play basketball with him. Unfortunately I was sick so I had to decline. He persisted to the point of annoyance. I finally had enough so I went outside and shot him in the shin with my Daisy Red Rider BB gun. I spun on my heels ready to go back into my house as he screamed and ran away when I realized my neighbors were having afternoon tea in their yard and I was standing there in my tighty whities and a gun on my hip.

  • saoud

    I was on my iphone walking on a sidewalk, and when I got to the end, about to cross the street, and still on my iphone, I get in front of a car, it swerves of to the side, hits another car and they both get totaled Luckily (for me) no one dies, and needless to say I don’t have any kind of insurance. fml.

  • very

    I was once driving down a road in colorado, trying to get to the house I was spending the night in with a group of friends. While we’re driving, we see a deer in the middle of the road. It was about a 10 point buck. Without giving it a second thought, I immediately blurted out “that thing has an AWESOME RACK!” Now nonoe of my friends had ever really hung out around hunters, and the only rack they could think about was not the one that comes on a male deer’s head. They were thinking more of the kind that makes a man want to get head from his dear…

  • aristid kuwalda

    me, best wishes from berlin.

  • IndiaLB

    My most embarrassing moment was last year. It was a nice, lovely day out so I was wearing cute floral strapless dress. Since I’m not super well endowed in the booby area, I was not wearing a bra. At noon I went to my Gen Psych class. It’s a HUGE lecture in a large lecture hall that is shaped like a horseshoe, so the people on extreme ends of the room have a clear view of the people on the opposite side of the room. I was sitting to the far left side of the room, not paying attention to lecture. I was on my computer and I needed to write something down on my notepad, so I slipped my computer from the desk into my lap and when I did so, the top of my dress was pulled down as well. I quickly pulled my dress up, but I KNOW that there were some of my peers on the opposite side of the room. Who knows!? maybe even my professor got a peak!

  • Luke

    I split from my girl a while back and started drinking heavily. On one occasion, i was staggering home from the pub and went to what I thought was my bed. When I woke up in the morning I realised I was in the wrong house and in fact slept in some kids bed. The house was empty and as I got up to leave, a naked woman came out from another room & started screaming at me like a rapist. She stood there frozen & screamed “LUKE!!!!!!”… I said but I’m Luke, and I’m so sorry…this house used to be my best mates house but he recently sold it. At that moment, a naked man came running up from the stairs and he says “Luke??? is that you” It turns out that it was my brother inlaws younger bro & his girlfriend that was naked house sitting for her brother who was away. They forgot to lock the door the previous night and I must of thought it was my house which was one block away. HEAVY

  • http://www.facebook.com/scott.slack.7 Scott Slack

    I was born!

  • goodgreatgrandwonderful

    When I was about 11, I had to take a shit real bad inside of a convenience store with some friends. I attempted but didn’t make it to the bathroom. As I left, the clerk stopped me, “Excuse me, but is that yours? You’re going to have to clean that up”.

    What could I do?

  • antwonw

    I showed up to a Christmas party in my Goodwill-home-knitted-winter sweater thinking it was it was a Christmas sweater party…needless to say…it wasn’t…and I looked totally awkward and out of place.

  • chlo

    embarrassment is for wussies

  • N I C K

    One day I was riding my skateboard to the grocery store when I hit the tiniest pebble in the parking lot causing the board to slip and and me and my pants to split. Only to find an older lady witnessing the whole thing. (note this day i decided to be brave and go commando) So i gathered myself and proceeded to skate away to my house embarrassed from the fact someone actually saw everything, but at least the breeze was nice.

  • http://twitter.com/jopkroef Jop van der Kroef

    Me and my compagnon just started a little graphic design studio in the Netherlands. Sinds our expertise is’nt programming websites this seems the perfect way to host our project for new clients. Some templates look very clean and nice, so this would be the perfect start!

  • D O M I N I K

    I vommited in the dairy queen ice cream cake refregirator…

  • Ben

    Being trapped naked with my ex-girlfriend (who was also naked) at my parents house in their back garden whilst my mother had just got back from the hospital. It took a good 5 minutes before I plucked up the courage to knock on the back door…

  • Tiana

    We used to go to church with our friends when I was little. One day, after service, I had to go to the restroom. I went inside and as I was in the stall, I heard another person come in. I could tell they weren’t in need of relieving themselves, as they were searching the whole room and every stall. I finished up and proceeded to the sinks to wash my hands, at which point, the person, an older woman, noticed me. She left. As I exited, I noticed my group of friends laughing, and their parents trying to keep a straight face. During this point in my childhood, I rocked a bowl haircut. Apparently, some aloof people reported to the staff that a “boy” had entered the girls’ bathrooms. I was that “boy”. =/

  • Cody

    In 10th grade this kid depantsed me during gym, revealing my family jewels to the entire class. Also my other friend depantsed me in front of his mother, and let’s just say my nickname became Peanut for the rest of my high school life. (I was a late bloomer.)

  • applejuicesipper

    It was a regular morning in Tokyo, Japan. I had been living there for 3 days so far, I walked to the train station on my usual morning journey to work. I bought some food and a drink at the convenience store. I am originally from Hawai’i, so I’m used to walking around with a lot of stuff. So as my train arrived, I casually boarded the train. I had a book, a banana, and an apple juice in my hands. At the next stop a unexpected swarm of people bustled through the train doors after a split second of it being opened. And there I was, frozen in the most awkward pose sardined by Japanese city dwellers, holding my juice and my book. The most embarrassing part was that I really wanted to sip my drink still, but I couldn’t move my hands unless I ended up “fondeling” 4 people at the same time.

  • yoga

    FART in front of everyone on a public transportation. after the awkward silence, i’m trying to breaking the ice by beatboxing (and i’m not the expert one). aaand, it’s not working at all. i quickly set myself free by let myself walking on sidewalks for the next 3 miles. pretty tough for my highschool memories.

  • Peeg

    Before heading off to dinner with friends a few years back we stopped at an ATM. I think I was the only one that needed to take cash out. It was one of those lone building style ATMs with glass windows on all sides in the middle of a huge parking lot. This specific one had a wheel chair ramp up and walkway with metal railings all around it. So I got out of the car, all hyped up on this special occasion and trying to be smooth, didn’t look back at the car, but knew everyone inside had their eyes on me. I’m thinking, perfect opportunity to show everyone how much more coordinated I’m getting (I was the unathletic kid in my group of friends for most of my life). So I run up toward this 4 foot tall, horizontal, close-out railing. I’m thinking to myself “oh man they must see what I’m about to do, they’re probably thinking, this kid is WILD.” So I get up to the railing, plant my hands on it and go to do the old baseball fence leap and just effortlessly toss my legs over–my toes completely get hung up though, hands slip off and I absolutely pile-drive into the cement walkway between the railing and ATM. I’m hearing this insane roar of muffled laughs coming from inside the carload of my friends. The stranger who was exiting the ATM door in front of me was genuinely concerned, inquiring if I was okay, at the same time he held the door completely wide-open for me as if I was still going to just slip right inside. Wish I remembered to thank him for that door-hold.

  • loon

    After springing an oil leak at the thrift store, my girl friend and I decided to go across the street to get donuts and use the bathroom. We get inside the shop and there is no toilet. Suddenly, knock, knock. who’s there? DIARRHEA. I sprint across the street, well as fast as you can with my butt cheeks clenched tight. And make my way through to the far end of the thrift store. I have to clench my cheeks with all my might because the stall is in use and the man sounds like he is not leaving anytime soon. My sphincter fails under pressure and a little comes out. My butt cheeks warm so I waddle out and into the ladies room. The coast is clear so I quickly sneak my way to the nearest stall and erupt. The time spent in the bathroom is cleaning my self, laughing then being embarrassed and continuing that cycle. I cut off my boxers and toss them in the trash can next to me, leave and find my girl friend and tell her that I’ve crapped myself. She bursts into an uncontrollable laughing fit and speaks of my odor so others can hear. We ride home. I ride in shame, as i can smell my self sometimes.

    https://picasaweb.google.com/108836456161135211461/20111224#5803337422465623842

  • http://okasha.daportfolio.com/ Dalton Sjogren

    This is probably the most entertaining post on all of booooooom!!

    As for myself, several years ago, the girl I secretly thought of as the love of my life was asking for gum amongst a group of our mutual friends in the moments before class started. Seeing it as a beautiful opportunity to become her gum bearing knight in shining armor I, more likely than not far too eagerly proclaimed, “I do!!” Saying this in front of classmates was a foolish thing to do since, at the time gum was almost an equivalent value of cigarettes for inmates and as a result all attention was on me. It didn’t matter (I thought) since I was focused to charm this girl. I reached down into my pocket navigating through pens, spare change, and whatever else to pull out a 25 cent packet of Wrigley’s Juicy Fruit. However, to my absolute horror, as I projected my hand forward to the center of the group towards her, I noticed what was undeniably a lone pubic hair ever so precariously resting atop the package. All went quiet. Eyes darted to me, to the pube, to her, back at me, back to her. I to this day know not how it arrived at such a place, nor will I ever, but all I knew was that at this precise moment my arm felt frozen at the epicenter or such immensely uncomfortable silence. And honestly, I don’t remember what happened after that, I might have tried to ever so casually shimmy it off ignoring it’s existence maintaining my steadfastness in offering her gum, but in truth it was all a blur until I sat down and class had began. What I do remember was that not one word about it was ever discussed amongst friends, not one word was ever spoken with her, and I know for fact she wasn’t chewing on anything that class period.

  • Brian

    in grade school we had this native american pow-wow day where all the kids dressed in their little native american garb. my outfit was traditional native american stuff: headdress, beads, shirt, and these pants with embroidered square flaps in the back and front. well anyway, it was the end of the day, i was filled with cornbread and stuffing when i got that feeling. oh no.. i excused myself to the bathroom and after fighting a really rotten stomach i stood up to wipe when… slllooop drip drip drip!!…. the back flap to my pants was soaking in the toilet the whole time. pickled in dirty cornbread water. i did my best to dry it off and flipped it inside of my cotton pants returning to class. i was so soaked, it was very obvious. i probably smelt too.

  • http://www.facebook.com/greasy.pastel Greasy Pastel

    I was climbing a tree, which had been damaged and therfore had some rebard supports holding some branches together. I ended up falling catching my shorts and undergarmets ripping them off and ended up naked on the ground.

  • Stefan Grey

    36 hours of pure self destruction

    Prologue:

    A warm, hugely generous woman (Jenny) I had worked for for a while asked me this summer to babysit her house cat while she and her son traveled to China for four weeks to visit family. I, of course, agreed, and during the month of May made good friends with her cat ‘Busy’.

    Skip forward two months:

    After her return, Jenny invited me for a traditional Cantonese supper as thanks for having taken care of her cat. For various reasons, I had to re-schedule the meal twice, so by the third invitation my girlfriend and I accepted the date no matter what. So I circled the calendar for the following Sunday afternoon…the Sunday following the wedding of one of my long-time friends.

    I gotta say, I love weddings. They’re the best. They’re just one big boozy happy-fest. My friend’s (Robb) wedding was at Brix downtown and the wine was a’flowin. I clearly remember two glasses of champagne and the first bottle of wine, I’m pretty sure about the second bottle, but accounts vary as to the third bottle and some stories about tequila shots. Needless to say, I was on fire that night (I’m a pretty damn happy drunk). Aside from being ‘that guy’, certain highlights include a loud proposal to the bride’s mother and a challenge to husband of a duel with baguettes, I slow danced with the groom, got into an arm-wrestling match with the groom’s grandmother (who I let win of course) and topped the night off by trying (and failing) to climb a stop sign as the out-of-town family members waited for taxis. My poor girlfriend tried to corral me several times, but she’s been with me long enough to treat these situations like a hurricane, just try to make sure no one gets hurt. This might not seem so embarrassing, but here’s the rub, the wedding party was only 13 people.

    My girlfriend managed to get us into a taxi and on our way home to Kits. She, being totally sober and being equal parts worried for and upset with me, thought it would be a good idea to try and ‘walk some of it off’. Ten minutes after the cab ride I was trying, very loudly, to climb a sapling outside of my building. Eleven minutes after the cab I was on my back in the grass with an uprooted tree on my chest and a totally pissed off French-Canadian girlfriend swearing at me in french. She was soon joined by my building manager (Marcel) who lived on the ground floor and whom I’d woken up. My girlfriend went from swearing at me to apologizing to him while I was trying to get up with the sapling in my hands to (I think) make a peace offering to Marcel. He wasn’t in a peaceful mood.

    Despite my deserving to be punched, Marcel grabbed me and helped my girlfriend get me into my apartment. Several of my neighbors came to their doors to watch as Marcel dragged the guy from Apartment 105 up the stairs wearing a tux covered in dirt. I woke the next morning fully clothed in my bathtub.

    I. Wanted. To. Die.

    Three bottles of red wine, two glasses of champagne and an unknown number of tequila shots were taking cruel and determined revenge. My eyes stung, my vision was blurred. My tongue felt like a piece of driftwood and my mouth tasted like curdled milk. My entire body ached, especially my hip where I’d fallen from the stop sign. I was hot, sweaty, still wearing my tux which smelled like wine and cigarette smoke and immediately swore a life of sobriety. Then I tried moving. Looking back, I’m pretty sure I was still a little drunk, that at least explains why my bathroom seemed to suddenly implode. My floor became my ceiling and I was retching and convulsing like some horrible B-movie zombie victim. I got sick everywhere. Over the course of the next few hours I didn’t move from my bathroom. My girlfriend (still angry but now concerned) tried to help me, but I was barely lucid let alone capable of human communication. In between bouts of throwing up (which after the first go around consisted mostly of painful dry-heaving) I managed to undress, sit in the shower until my fingers and toes turned to raisins, and drink tiny amounts of water. Things slowly, very slowly, terribly excruciatingly horribly slowly, began to improve.

    In all seriousness, I may have had some sort of alcohol poisoning and to this day still regret having blasted past my limits.

    After about four or five hours of intermittent heaving and moaning, I managed to finally get dressed. I was moving at a snail’s pace. Anything faster than a geriatric shuffle and I’d get dizzy and have to lie down immediately or be thrown into more dry heaving. But, things were slowly improving. Then my phone buzzed with a text.

    Jenny: “see you soon, hope you’re hungry!!!”

    Oh. God. I forgot. I was due at Jenny’s down the street in 30 minutes.

    “You’re going” said my girlfriend.

    “Please,” I whimpered back, “come with me. I can’t do this alone.”

    She agreed (because she’s a saint and I don’t deserve her).

    I’m pretty proud that I managed to get there on time. I was dressed, I could walk/shuffle, and the air from my apartment near Kits Beach to Jenny’s place near Burrard Bridge did me some good. Jenny and her son (Barry) were happy to see us. The big Caucasian cat-sitter had finally come for supper. Aside from a quick “you look tired”, I was ushered into her home and given a seat at the diner table.

    “You want a beer?” asked Jenny.

    “No thank you” I croaked, “just water. Please, only water.”

    We made small talk about China (mostly Jenny) while Barry talked about his classes at SFU. My girlfriend carried 90% of the conversation. I nodded, sipped my water, ignored my pounding temples and told myself that I was doing fine. I could get through this. Then dinner began.

    “Traditional Cantonese food” said Jenny happily as she set the table.

    Rice. Chicken wings. Not so exotic.
    Beef lung. Gooey duck. Salted duck egg. A bit of surprise.

    I sincerely apologize to any Cantonese cuisine lovers. I have absolutely nothing against great Chinese cooking. But I know who I am, and that is a very simple Canadian raised by a mother whose culinary talents were based on a solid foundation of Kraft Dinner and Hamburger Helper. While I have since ventured into awesome Asian restaurants (thanks to my girlfriend), my appetite remains pretty leery of any dish of which I can’t immediately associate with whatever animal or plant it originally came from.

    That said, the minute I saw what was in front of me and smelt the aromas of steaming beef lung and pickled half raw duck egg, I felt that tell-tale sensation of a ball in my throat and my abdominals contracting. I snatched my water and started drinking while shoveling my plate full of rice.

    I took a lot of rice.

    Again, thank God for my girlfriend. She literally saved my life during supper. I picked here and there, but my meal consisted of two parts rice, three parts water, one half of a chicken wing and a small nibble of gooey duck.

    By some miracle I made it through supper and had started breathing easy. I’d made it. Or at least I’d thought so. I’d forgotten about dessert.

    In hindsight, snow fungus soup really is quite nice. (http://bit.ly/WNsrkA) It’s a simple dish that really doesn’t have that strong a taste. It’s the texture that surprises you. Creamy to the point of being a little slimy, it’s a good way to ease the stomach after a heavy meal. That particular moment however, as I tepidly tasted the fungus, it had the exact same constitution of the stomach fluids I’d been expunging since the moment I’d woken that morning in my bathtub.

    One spoonful. Game over.

    Ball in throat. Abdominals contracting. Cheeks exploding. I slapped my hands around my mouth, jumped from the table and ran to the wherever I thought (prayed) the bathroom would be. With fungus and water rushing up my esophagus I burst into Jenny’s bathroom and just aimed at whatever looked like porcelain. It ended up being the sink.

    Now, I’m pretty loud when I’m sick, and when I’m sick, I’m sick for a long time. Later my girlfriend told me about what the scene looked like. She, sitting at the table with her head in her hands, mortified. Jenny, apologizing profusely, repeatedly asking if the food had been too spicy. Barry, openly laughing, asking if I was going to finish my soup. All to the sound of a 6’1, 220 lbs Caucasian man being violently sick.

    After, rubbing my eyes and looking up at myself in the bathroom mirror, not totally believing what I had just done, I glanced down at the horror of what used to be Jenny’s sink. (Brace yourself here). Everything I’d managed to hold down over the past seven hours was in that bowl. It was the biological embodiment of ‘why not to binge on red wine.’ I turned on the faucet, hoping to dilute the mess, but to no avail. This was a serious log jam. I began to panic. I had to fix this. I couldn’t let Jenny see this nightmare. So I did what I had to do. I cupped my hands and got down to business. After about a dozen transports from sink to toilet I had the sink empty. I went back to the faucet, and to my terror the water started to rise. The drain was completely and thoroughly clogged. Panicking even more, I rinsed my hands and riffled through a cupboard and found a tooth brush. Violently jamming the brush down the drain, I fought with whatever was down there, but nothing worked. Then there was a knock at the door.

    My girlfriend, “Stefan, just come out”

    Emerging, sheepishly, from the scene of my crime, I opened the door, shut it behind me, looked at Jenny, and melted. The poor woman visibly upset. Not because I had hardly eaten her meal, or because I had destroyed her bathroom sink, but because she thought that she had poisoned me. I only had one option remaining at that point.

    “Jenny, I’m so sorry, I may have ruined your sink. I will pay for a plumber to come right away. And I owe you a toothbrush.”

    I went on to come completely clean. To her credit, Jenny was a great sport and she still laughs about it. I did pay for the emergency plumber (who fixed the sink in five minutes) and I also paid for a new tree for Marcel. Robb and his family still laugh about my wedding performance, but Brix did leave a message with the wedding party that they received several complaints from surrounding condo dwellers about the louder parts of my night.

    My girlfriend felt that I’d paid enough for my sins by the ordeal at Jenny’s, and harbored no grudge against me, but she still points to the new sapling outside my building as a reminder every time I say I’m going out for a few beers with some friends.

    Lastly, I have eaten plenty of Cantonese food since, and loved it.

    But I still haven’t drank any red wine.

    • http://www.booooooom.com/ Jeff Hamada

      hahahhaa this is EPIC.

  • Alex

    When i was still a child i went to the supermarket with my mum, in spite of the new cereal flavors i was distracted and lost her. I proceeded to run around the store like a maniac, until i finally found my “mum” who was turned around reading something i ran up to her slapped her on her bum with all my might and said “where did ya go?”. It wasn’t my mom but rather my current elementary school teacher..i ran like the wind, and didnt face my teacher for weeks

  • Matthew Brinkley

    It was a Tuesday in June about seven years ago and I was caught having sex with my girlfriend on the top level of a parking deck in my car. Now normally I wouldn’t give a damn, but the situation was a bit different… This parking deck was settled between two office buildings, let me remind you this was on a Tuesday and we were on the top floor… So people were at work.

    We were the only car on that level, full on naked, and had no idea that people in these buildings could see us. The deed was done and we went to the bottom floor of the deck to leave, totally forgetting that there was an attendant on duty. We think, “shit, hope they didn’t see us!” We pull up to the booth and the attendant asked us if we were the kids having sex on the top deck. Our faces go red instantly, but she continues… She says that not only was it caught on like four security cameras, BUT that about thirty people from those office buildings mentioned earlier called about it to the parking deck. She let us go on sheer embarrassment and “says I was young once too but don’t bring your pale ass back here again.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cody-Achter/1063520512 Cody Achter

    I’ve sharted on several occasions, and it’s never a humbling moment. Once in Target, once in Kroger, and once in Big Lots. It’s never fun when you gotta find the bathroom squabbling round the store like a damn penguin smelling like poo juice acting like you didn’t just shart yourself. The worst part is the ride home.

  • Guest

    Once I was terribly drunk & stuff and a friend of mine took us to a really underground seedy gay bar. Being so drunk, I started flirting with a drag queen, and acting macho to make him feel ‘like a woman’. We sort of hooked up and he came with us back home to continue the party, and we kissed in the backseat. When we got to the house, one of my friends let me know he was post-op. Being a gay man, I freaked out at the thought of even a fake vagina and the only escape I could think of was to pretend I was so fucked up I lay on the floor and pretended to be a dolphin and be out of my wits. I even chirped like a dolphin and waved my flippers. Give me my site.

    • http://twitter.com/stolemyusername ♥_Даниил_♥

      PLEASE give me my site I mean. I deserve it.

  • Guest

    remind me to delete that later

  • http://twitter.com/kvl Kevin Van Lierop

    When I was in grade 11 I had a job interview at a new place in town. I got excited because it was a good paying job and I was in charge of other employees. All was good until I told my father where I was working and what I was doing and he started to laugh. At the time I didn’t understand why he was laughing.

    To this day when ever I tell someone what I’ve done for past jobs and this one comes up I always get laughed at, but now I get it.

    In grade 11 I took a job at a Fudge Factory (no jokes, it was called The Fudgery) and on Wednesdays I packed fudge and shipped it out.

    To this day I’m referred to as a Fudgepacker and it isn’t in the derogatory sense, I actually was a true fudgepacker.

  • http://www.facebook.com/katiebird.yates Katiebird Yates

    when my ninth grade english teacher asked in front of the entire class if i didn’t feel well because i was having my “lady days.”

  • http://twitter.com/jenelling jenelle huddleston

    I was super flu sick once, but had a 40% off coupon to a retail store. needed some shorts, didn’t want it to expire, so I headed out to try on clothes.

    In the dressing room I yakked into a different shopping bag, casually carried it out, brought shorts to the register, and paid for them in the midst of a growing horrified crowd of customers bugging out about a mysterious nasty smell.

    on the way out a lady asked why my bag was dripping, so I quickly skipped out of there leaving a trail of nasty slime.

    now I work at the corporate headquarters of that store, so I think I was forgiven.

  • Pablo

    accidentally hug a girl that i like in front of his boyfriend apparently

  • cai vail

    We were making paper cranes in church youth group, and apparently I fudged a step somewhere, turning what should’ve been an innocuous crane tail feather into a dagger-penis. My youth group leader, who was a generally awful person, could not shut up about it, parading me around to all of the nearby adults with my mangled, lewd paper crane and then laughing at me for getting embarrassed and crying. Heinous woman.

  • Matt

    When I ride the bus to school I take it as my time to do things that I normally wouldn’t. Like listen to really catchy pop music. I was blasting the gangam style pandora station, which often plays only the best… Shakira, Pitbull and of course all of the obscure south american pop hits. Nodding my head to give the illusion that I had on some sort of hard ass gangster rap, I rocked out for the solid hour ride. when we arrived at school I took my headphones off only to realize that my ipod jack had somehow broken, and was playing music equally as loud through the speaker as it was in my ear.

  • http://www.facebook.com/hquang91 Richard Vũ

    I always mistakenly text my mom instead of my gf/bf. It feels like FML all the time.

  • Elkispop

    I once had a crush on a boy in my school. I wanted to tell him, but was to shy to talk in person. So I asked a friend to find out his phonenumber, so I could send him a message (stupid way to express your feelings, but anyway). After getting home with his number, I sent him two messages, explaining that I like him a lot and would like to meet him out of school. He didnt answer my messages, so I waited for the next day at school. My friend then told me in private, that he red the messages … on his dads phone! Somehow I got his dads phonenumber, who must have been very confused and amused. I never tried anything else with that boy :)

  • Jesse Wilcox

    One time i got pants in front of my entire high school when I was giving a speech on stage :[

  • Helloartsy

    For the start of spring semester, I had bought myself a new sun dress, and very proudly wore it on my first day of classes. I had failed to notice all morning that it was, in fact, completely see-through, and feeling like a free-spirit, I had chosen to go bra-less that day! I was rescued later by a good guy friend of mine who gave me his backpack so I could wear it “backwards” to get back to my car.

  • Layli Samimi

    >>my most embarrassing thing>>

    I was 16 and unruly, wearing baggy bright orange cargo pants, skipping school hanging out at the local coffee shop in my small hometown of Juneau, Alaska. I had just started to date a guy who was a professional snowboarder and I was meant to meet up with him at our local skate shop so he could introduce me to his reps and his snowboard team. Before I was meant to go there I decided that I wanted to drink a bunch of espresso. As soon as I was finishing my coffee, my girlfriend drove up to take me to the skate shop.

    Just to paint a picture — Juneau has a small, quaint downtown strip, that is a one way street, snaking through it at 20mph. The door handle on the passenger side of her car was broken and I was about to be late to meet my boyfriend at the time. I decided that the best, most logical idea was to just sit on the hood of the car, to get a to the other end of downtown. I sat IN FRONT of my girlfriends driver’s side of the windshield and she couldn’t see very well. She decides to speed up as she thinks it’s hilarious that I’m going ahead with this dangerous idea. So there I am, sitting on the hood of the car, going 35mph on a one lane, small street with pedestrians and tourists everywhere.

    Since I am blocking my girlfriends view, she doesn’t see the car that had pulled out from the alley in front of her. The alley was connected to the snowboard shop that my boyfriend and crew were meeting. I was still on the hood of the car, going way too fast when my friend rear ended the car in front of me and I went flying, 8 feet in the air, right in front of my boyfriend and his professional snowboard team. I hit the pavement of Main St. rolling and tumbling in front of them, like such a crazy spectacle.

    We scared the living daylights out of the elderly man that we rear ended, my “cool” cargo pants were all torn up, and I totally bit the dust in front of all these people I was trying to impress. My vision of my first entrance being all cool and “extreme” was totally sabotaged when we hit the elderly man in front of us. I then had to go up to the shop and introduce myself as they were all screaming and hollering thinking that I was going to get super hurt. Luckily, I wasn’t hurt physically, just a totally embarrassed ego.

  • Kat

    Just last week, a friend and myself went out to grab some dinner before catching a concert. We were really excited about the singer, who goes by the name Bahamas, and we talked about him almost the whole time we ate. We are two really good friends who thought no one could hear us or would care and so we talked about how cute we thought he was. My friend thought he wasn’t that attractive. We talked about the music videos how great his real name would be for a kid! We were ridiculous. Near the end of our dinner I happened to notice a man sitting at the table right beside us. Less than a foot away, definitely in ear shot. He looked really familiar and then I realized it was Bahamas, his band and the opener Jason Collett. I don’t know what they heard, but instead of playing it cool I started laughing uncontrollably for 5 minutes. It was too much.
    That’s my most recent embarrassing moment!

    • http://www.booooooom.com/ Jeff Hamada

      hahaha – where was the show? he just played here in vancouver

  • MontrealArtist

    It was one of my first modeling gigs.
    I was shy and inexperienced. We shot the first outfit and the stylist handed me a short black dress for the next shot. So I went in the bathroom to change clothes. It was a tube kind of dress and I had a lot of difficulty to get in but I didn’t want to disappoint them. Once I’d put it on, I realized it was really short. I got out of the bathroom in front of the whole crew waiting for me and since it was a photoshoot where I had to jump, I told them I wasn’t comfortable to shoot in it. The stylist started laughing because it was actually a long skirt and not a short dress like I thought. I was supposed to keep the top I already had on. I just assumed you had to change the whole outfit every time. Everyone had a good laugh!

    Ps: I really enjoy Booooooom, inspiring stuff!

  • joe

    Ithrew up on my teacher once in class, she then proceeded to do the same other me. No one ever saw that teacher again.

  • Mercedes

    So i went to see an art performance, i was a bit drunk and i sat on the front row in the little theatre. In some point of the show the female performer started to say “scream! scream!”, so i started screaming out loud but no one else did, then i realized it was not ment for the audience to scream back at the stage. This was like 5 years ago and i’m still ashamed about that, very.

  • j

    I was around 11 or 12 years of age over at someone’s home for a big family friend gathering and a bunch of kids barged into the bathroom where I was pooping =[

  • Vanessa

    Hey there, I’d love to win a free site for life as my BFA graduate year is coming up next semester and I’d love to start it with a bang with a new portfolio site! And you know how important it is to have a good way to show your artwork, especially for a grad show.

    Check out my stuff: http://vanessakrystinwong.tumblr.com

    Thanks!
    Vanessa.

  • Matthew Blu

    I was in middle school, walking in the wood shop class when I slipped face first on some saw dust. The whole thing went unnoticed, but in my flailing attempt to “keep it cool” I stomped on my hand with my foot trying to stand back up. Pure teenage gracelessness. Short and sweet.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=15304986 Edwa Westerhuis

    I went to a birthday party for a friend, upstairs at this sushi place. Stuck at one end of the table, I mostly talked to my friend Robert. It was mostly women there who I didn’t really know. After the dinner one of the women left in crutches, heading to go down the steep narrow stairs to the main floor. As she said goodbye, I (thinking myself to be really hilarious) yelled out across the table: “Break a Leg!” Everyone got real hushy and awkward. I chuckled to myself and had another piece of sashimi. On the ride home, my wife commented, “I can’t believe that woman only had one leg.” I asked, “Who are you talking about?” She replied, “the woman you told to break a leg!”

    Yikes.

  • kai
  • Q

    I asked a middle-aged woman how her chemo treatment was going. I assumed she was going through chemo because her hair was super short. Not pixie cut short. Shaved short. Almost bald short. Turned out she was totally healthy and just liked to keep her hair cut to 1/4″ at all times. Whoops.

  • Stephen Sou

    Ummm…I am seriously embarrassed to tell this story but here goes…

    So I went to Uganda earlier this spring to visit my friends that were helping out with a school that gave education to children that lived in the slums and were victims of AIDS. I came down to bring them some treats and give them a short break to have some fun. Unfortunately, I got sick during my stay there. We were staying at the school director’s home and the girls were sleeping in the living room and the guys were sleeping outside. So one night, we had a sudden blackout so we all decided to sleep around 8pm. One hour later, my stomach was going homicidal crazy and I was just telling myself and praying to God that my stomach would get better. Obviously it didn’t work out that way. I had to go take a crap so bad that I couldn’t even attempt to fart because I would literally diarrhea. So, the living room was in between the restroom and where I was sleeping. So I am trying to walk around the girls that were sleeping and holding my butt because it was coming out. Once I got into the restroom I went all out. The restroom in this house didn’t have a toilet but squatty or pretty much a hole into the ground with a flush system. I was so sure that I had pooped all over my pants and my underwear since I was literally pooping into hand before I reached the restroom. So I decided to walk through the living room half naked. Now I was obviously not thinking this through, so I went back through the living room again half naked to take a shower. Luckily the lights didn’t get back on until after I cleaned up myself.

    The next morning, I was complaining how sick I felt yesterday without the details of what happened that night. Then my friend (girl) whispered to me, “ Was that you last night and using the restroom?” I hesitantly responded, “Yes…why?” then she responded, “Well I went into the restroom this morning and there were shit all over the walls so I cleaned them off the walls.”

    Yup.

    And my trip back involved me going to the restroom over 15 times on the plane, stewardess thinking I was dead in the restroom closet, several more times on the train. So this whole trip was quite a “shitty” situation. lol

  • Scott Cratsch

    One fine sunday my “former” pastor preached that God can forgive anything….even “marrying someone from another race”….. I looked to my right at my visiting brother-in-law who just happens to be part Puerto Rican, Jewish, Black, and white. Can you feel my facepalm at that moment? The midwest is an island of stupidity.

  • Bryan

    My first nude model in figure drawing class hit on me, while she was modeling, and her tampon string was hanging out…she was well into her forties

  • Nick

    This was ages ago, i was young and stupid. We went on the class trip, and there was this guy from my class i had a huge crash on. So this girl comes to talk to him, so i started teasing her, that maybe she likes the guy and it turned out to be his sister. To this day i think this was one of my most embarassing experiences, it taught me a lesson through…

  • chillaxstevie

    Well this is just odd, I’m still going to spill my most embarrassing moment with you even though I am about 3 days past the deadline.

    It was my freshmen year probably some time in December because I remember how cold it was wearing my cute but totally annoying cheer uniform. When my friends decided they wanted to stop by the student store for a couple of snacks. So my *clique* and I made out way through the inside cafeteria (which by the way is the biggest part of my school or at least that’s how it felt during that specific time *high school musical status quo* type of deal) and we were laughing and having a good time, until suddenly I had managed to slip on a ketchup packet and all I can remember was feeling a really strong impact after landing and my feet in the air. YES I SAID IT. I slipped on a ketchup packet and flew in the air and landed straight on my butt with my feet in the air. I literally envisioned those corny cartoon characters who slip on banana peels during a chase. All I heard was a slow motion of some horrifying witches laughters all around me, every. single. corner. I. looked. It’s like for that moment everyone just so happened to be watching me in this horrifying spotlight. What was probably even worse was the fact that they we’re still pointing and laughing from the time I returned and had to walk to same pathway back to our table.

    * A couple years later I was at my friends birthday party, and I actually met the guy who’s prank was to watch and see someone slip and fall on that stupid ketchup packet. Which was probably the funniest moment of my life as well. So, guy who’s name I can’t remember at this time, I thank you.

  • http://twitter.com/stolemyusername ♥_Даниил_♥

    meh

  • ConstanceGrace

    I was flying from South Dakota to Chicago, with a short layover in Denver. Upon arrival at DIA, I discovered that my flight, along with everyone else’s, was cancelled due to lightning, and I’d be spending the night in Denver, along with my nine-month-old baby. I couldn’t get a hotel because I was (a.) poor, (b.) cheap, and–most importantly–(c.) stupid and had recently lost my credit card and refused to think ahead by bringing more than four dollars in cash. I was going to see family, and had planned to write someone a check and have them cash it for me. Oh, and I had been unable to find my phone even after borrowing a stranger’s to call it and listening to my luggage (it was, indeed, in my checked bag, and the ring ought to have been audible). So, a night at the airport with my baby, who was actually legitimately thrilled to be there. No big deal.

    I was pretty exhausted after waiting in line to reschedule, but I still had to call my brother, Nick. When I got to the payphones, I realized that it was no longer 1999 and most of them took credit cards only. I found a small group of phones that accepted cash, but you needed to pay with quarters, and it was $2 for a minute. Magically, I had $2 in quarters, and I made the call.

    Well, Nick didn’t answer, which was fine, except OHMIGOD suddenly everything was not fine at all. I couldn’t afford dinner or breakfast, my kid was getting pissed, and I was going to run out of time on the phone and I couldn’t even add more minutes and it was cold in the airport and we were going to have to sleep on the floor and airlines don’t even have blankets anymore. So I’m leaving this ridiculous message, bawling uncontrollably, and my stroller, outside the phone booth has just fallen over.

    Someone picks up the stroller, and everyone who walks by is looking at me and then getting terrified and/or concerned. And I’m like, what, you’ve never seen someone cry in an airport? Like what’s the big deal–I’m sad, it happens. And then I look down and my boob is just completely exposed: my son had been nursing a little when I started the call and it didn’t even register, and here I’ve been–crying uncontrollably with my boob out.

    Once I realized that, I just figured it could only get better, so we found a quiet spot and crashed on the floor. I got a hold of my family with a stranger’s phone, we got on an early morning flight, where I ate pretzels and drank soda and my kid nursed, and we made it to Chicago without further complications.