15.06.17 by Jeff

5 Questions You Must Answer (or die)

If you missed them, the previous 5 Questions posts are HEREHERE and HERE. For this weeks questions I went through and picked some interesting ones from AskReddit (slightly altered a couple)! Excited to hear your answers and feel free to leave comments on other people’s answers! I’ll put my answers there too.

 

The Questions

1 – What do you wish had never been invented?

2 – You now do the opposite of your job. What do you do now?

3 – What’s the scariest movie, short film, or TV show you’ve seen?

4 – Describe an encounter you’ve had with a famous person.

5 – You rub a can of cheap beer and a small, pudgy spirit in a stained undershirt emerges. He is the Crappy Genie, and he’ll grant you any wish as long as it’s kind of crappy and won’t substantially change the course of your life. What do you wish for?

 

LEAVE A COMMENT / ANSWER THE QUESTIONS








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Jeff
Jeff Hamada is the Founder and Editor of Booooooom. He lives and works in Vancouver.



  • 1 – Chalk. The sound is makes, the texture, everything about it is the worst.

    2 – My job is to make it as difficult as possible for people to see or enjoy any art and I accomplish this without using the Internet.

    3 – An episode of The X-files called ‘Home’. I only saw it once as a kid and haven’t seen it since but remember being very freaked out. Told my sister about it a few years ago and found out many other people also thought it was the scariest thing they’d seen on TV. Read up on it and turns out the episode was actually banned. Don’t ruin it by reading about it just try to find episode #2 of season 4. Let me know if it still holds up!

    4 – A couple friends and I went for dinner at a restaurant we had never gone to before to try some oysters. I started telling them about The Wire (neither had seen it) and as I’m saying how amazing this show is a guy walks by with really loud rap music playing in his headphones and sits at the next table. I start to tell my friends about my favourite character Omar, and the waitress walks by and brings a ton of oysters to the guy who is still listening to his headphones and apparently dining alone. I glance at the guy and it takes me a few seconds to realise for the first time that it is Michael K. Williams aka Omar from The Wire. I’m just like staring at him, shocked, and my friends have no idea what’s happening. Then he notices me looking and I say something like “Hey are you an actor?” and he takes his headphones off because he can’t hear me. And this is maybe the only time in my life where I totally fanned out on someone and he was super friendly and nice and even took a photo with me.

    5 – My wish would be for a pair of everlasting contacts. I don’t need my eyesight fixed, I like wearing glasses and don’t want to wear fake ones. I just want to never have to buy another pair of contacts and to be able to reuse this one pair whenever I’m playing sports/wanna wear sunglasses etc.

    • Would the contacts adjust if your vision decays even further, or will they always be a little off, seems like a thing that genie would do

      • haha he better

    • Erika

      I remember watching The Wire and wishing to make a friend like Omar. I love him.

  • Tina

    1 – High Heel Converse All-Stars. Seeing them reduced my life span with 5 years at least.

    2 – I’m a Disservice Manager that will make all customers deliberately unhappy and rapidly ruin previously successful businesses. Companies employ me to infiltrate and destroy their competitors and they pay me well, but my real sense of success comes from putting people on hold.

    3 – Fantasia, the Disney movie. Pure nightmare material in my opinion.

    4 – It was musky and loud behind the stage of a rock festival. The floor was sticky, and I was doing tent construction and maintenance – very focused on some knots at the time. A sweaty palm handed me a cool beverage and a coarse voice greeted me. Then I looked up and shook hands with Lemmy with a beer in my hand.

    5 – I’d wish for my fingertips to develop callouses quicker so it doesn’t hurt playing the mandolin. It would however damage my smartphone skills since the fingertips don’t register as well when calloused. I hope the genie will approve of this sacrifice.

    • I have never seen fantasia but i feel they always reference a scene with lightning and a cliff, it does look scary

    • Lemmy no way thats awesome —
      lol @ #1

    • Erika

      And stiletto Timbs…

  • 1 – Bowties, i am not sure i understand them, i can’t tie them, i feel like a present when i have one, maybe i should go on wiki and research their history.

    2 – My job is to make sure all the emails and visual communications the clients see are broken and the wrong message, i need to mislead them so they quit being clients and if they are not clients they sure will avoid us like the plague.

    3 – Maybe because of my age when i first saw it ( 6 or 7 ) but i am still terrified of the Exorcist, maybe i should revisit it.

    4 – David Schwimmer (Ross from friends) opened the door for me at a chase bank, but he was caught in that situation in which he is holding the door and people keep coming out and you don’t know when to release it. He was taller than i thought.

    5 – I wish i knew everything about clouds.

    • after all these years i still haven’t seen The Exorcist. maybe another good upcoming question – the most famous movie you have never seen

    • Eric Hosford

      Fun fact! Bow ties became popular beacuse of doctors. They wanted to be dressed professionally but regular ties would fall into places they shouldn’t (like open wounds, guts, brains, what have you) so the bow tie circumvented this issue. (Im pretty sure this is true, i heard it on NPR)

  • hahahahahaa that story is hilarious it feels like an episode of Curb

  • enamel

    1 – Organized religion. It has set our species back hundreds of years at a time.

    2 – I help my company betray people’s trust so they won’t buy things from us, basing all decisions on things I think up with no input from the outside world.

    3 – I once saw just the first 5 minutes of an episode of Superfriends where aliens arrived on Earth and all humans were gone. They went to the Hall of Justice to check the computer and find out what had happened to humanity. Then my neighbor showed up and I had to go outside to play with him. That moment haunts me to this day.

    4 – I visited Olympic Snowboarder Danny Kass’ house and helped him install a new doorknob on his back door. Also once I went to talk to Al Franken and was interrupted by a crazy person. Al dismissed us both as crazy people, thinking we were together.

    5 – Brand new socks. Every day. For life.

    • i honestly contemplated nearly an identical answer for #5 – its almost too good, not crappy enough haha

    • Gotta agree with #1, maybe it served a purpose long ago but right now is holding us back

  • trying to figure out what the opposite of a medical helicopter transport pilot would be

  • johnnyboyjohn

    1. Combustion engine, imagine the peace and quiet.

    2. I am a day-trader who earns a huge income and wears a suit 24/7.

    3. “The Road” film version… too dark, I could not finish it because it may happen.

    4. I was in a little diner between SF and Santa Rosa, eating with a associate who was ultra nerdy and quiet. I noticed a guy at the counter getting some to-go food and then he walked by the window where I was sitting. It was Huey Lewis and I guess I was staring (being a young guy from the midwest where we see nobody famous ever) and he smiled and waved really big to me.

    5. Luke-warm sushi that is poorly rolled and falls apart.

    • I’ve been meaning to watch The Road film, now i am even more interested.

      • johnnyboyjohn

        Hope you are made of stronger stuff than I am. I have enough post-apocalyptic nightmares as it is.

  • Alison Kreitzberg

    1 – What do you wish had never been invented?

    2 – You now do the opposite of your job. What do you do now? Deconstruction. Take buildings apart.

    3 – What’s the scariest movie, short film, or TV show you’ve seen? Poltergeist or Hook when I was 9. Both gave me nightmares for weeks. Though I think Poltergeist had a much more detrimental and lasting effect.

    4 – Describe an encounter you’ve had with a famous person.
    I got to interview Reggie Watts backstage at Sasquatch Music Festival once. He was kind enough to let me stick my face in his hair, after I asked of course, and in case you were wondering, it was incredible. I love that man, super sweet and kind, on top of being crazy talented and hilarious.

    5
    – You rub a can of cheap beer and a small, pudgy spirit in a stained
    undershirt emerges. He is the Crappy Genie, and he’ll grant you any wish
    as long as it’s kind of crappy and won’t substantially change the
    course of your life. What do you wish for? non melting, forever lip balm, so when i accidentally wash and dry it with my clothes because i forgot it in my pants pocket, my clothes don’t come out smelling like peppermint and have grease stains all over them. either that or to never need to cut my toenails again.

    • Levi

      Do you remember what scene(s) were scary for you from Hook? I can still remember the boat scene in Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory giving my nightmares as a kid.

  • Elissa Gibb

    1 – Skinny jeans
    2 – I spend my days destroying art objects so they can be returned to their natural states as elements of the earth.
    3 – Darkness Falls – a movie about a spirit who “takes the form” of the tooth fairy. I saw it when I was 8 and was way too scared of losing teeth after that.
    4 – My cousins and I decided to go to a roller rink in Los Angeles several years ago and we had all done a few laps around the rink when one of my cousins rode up to us and said he was pretty sure we were skating around with Jon Heder (the actor who plays Napoleon Dynamite, and Jimmy MacElroy in Blades of Glory) and his brother and some friends. So we spent the next hour rolling around a rink with Napoleon Dynamite and his buddies making Blades of Glory jokes.
    5 – I would wish for a pencil that never got dull.

    • what kind of earth elements do you use!

      • Elissa Gibb

        clay!

  • Frank Luca

    1 – Selfie sticks.

    2 – I make sure things run as poorly as possible on any given day. I also take things away from people.

    3 – The dumpster scene in Mulholland Drive. I remember being a teenager and watching it while I was home alone one night. I could barely finish watching the film since I was so worried something similar was going to happen again.

    4 – I got to meet and have my photo taken with Sharon Van Etten after one her shows. She was super friendly. Does that count?

    5 – To never have to cut your nails.

    • are you a mailman?

      • Frank

        I wish, I’m the manager at a brewery. I’m also a freelance graphic designer, so looking back I probably should have just “try to make things as ugly as possible.”

  • Erika

    1. Anything scented especially incense sticks.

    2. I can’t think of the specific job, but whatever it is, is respected by others.

    3. Unsolved Mysteries scared me as a child. I still remember watching episodes that scared me enough to put a chair under the door knob of the front and back door. I don’t even know if that actually works.

    4. I don’t think I’ve ever had an encounter with anyone famous…unless you count the time I gave a thumbs up to one of the contestants (can’t remember his name) from Project Runway (who knows what season). I am bit embarrassed by this now that I’ve typed it out.

    5. I would like to be able to have any fashion jewelry I wanted at anytime for free.

    • #2 hahahhahahaha sorry that’s so funny

      • Erika

        :)

  • taryn

    1 – the dlc monetization model for video games.
    2 – I go to people’s houses with a sledgehammer and knock the art off their walls. then I smash the frames and break the glass. i’ll probably tear up the art too, for good measure.
    3 – I had to look this up – watched it when I was a kid. ‘Tales from the Darkside’, an episode called ‘Hush’ http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716948/reviews
    I slept with a pillow in front of my face for months because I was certain that thing was going to come suck the life out of me while I slept.
    4 – I got to drink and do karaoke with Joel Murray (Bill Murray’s bro) and company after a screening of ‘God Bless America’ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_Bless_America_(film)
    5 – crappy genie! i wish for the ability to put a usb drive in the usb slot the first time, always. https://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2388

    • Levi

      DLC’s becoming “standard practice” and that shipping a half-complete game is acceptable is infuriating. Also, related to #5 100% haha

  • Margotenenbaum

    1 – Guns.

    2 – I forecast what will not be a trend. I don’t care about the future or making an impact. All I want is to live day by day without looking ahead. Also, I don’t have style.

    3 – Black Mirror “Nosedive”. Just close enough to our near future reality that it freaks me outtttt.

    4 – I took an elevator ride with 50 Cent and he told me my dog had the “dopest name” (chainsaw) and I melted. I love Curtis!

    5 – My plants never need watering!

    • Levi

      ★★★★★

  • E Smit

    1. Any aubergine recipe ever
    2. Accountant
    3. I saw Event Horizon on big screen when it came out. When the lights came on the whole cinema just sat there in silence. Very weird experience.
    4. I waited at Buckingham Palace, the annual tennis match. Loads of famous people all very much higher than thou but Ernie Else was awesome. I have also not seen anyone more beautiful than Claudia Schiffer in person.
    5. Pet bunnies for life

    • Levi

      Did you get to chat with Ernie?? He seems so laid back.

      • E Smit

        No unfortunately not but he is very laid back and very polite x

  • Ian Winship

    A carton of milk. I could go for a bowl cereal now.

  • 1. Cell phones. I miss the incredible superpower of memorizing 10-digit number sequences with ease.

    2. I suck the knowledge from high school seniors and cause them to be illiterate.

    3. twenty-nine palms. i realized when it ended that my face was covered in tears, but i was too scared to notice i’d started crying.

    4. my band opened for deerhunter a few years ago. i was the only girl backstage, so i went to the women’s bathroom thinking i’d have it to myself. surprise: bradford cox popped out of a stall as i entered. he looked panicked and exited without washing his hands. a little bit later, we were introduced to deerhunter formally, and i tried to pretend that it hadn’t happened.

    5. i’d wish for the ability to eat a family size bag of potato chips without feeling sick. or a gallon of ice cream. or an extra-large pizza.

    • lol @ the deerhunter story

      when vancouver was smaller we only had to remember a 7 digit number – seems like a long time ago now

  • Taniciab

    1 – Guns. We’d still be fighting with swords, knives and bow&arrows and that’s ok with me
    2 – I sue people/companies for trademark and copyright infringement
    3 – Ernest Scared Stupid when I was 7. The monster under the bed became a reoccurring theme that gets me every time. For that very reason I use the underside of the bed for storage.
    4 – Colin Powell attended at my Dad’s promotion ceremony at the pentagon when I was 9. He was nice. I barely knew who he was.
    5 – To wake up to my hair perfectly curly and not be matted into a high top every morning.

    • your dad works at the Pentagon??

      • Taniciab

        He used to work there in the 90’s.

  • 1. Online food ordering. makes it wayyy too easy for my always hungry, introvert self to order more food than I need when I don’t want to talk to people.
    2. I am a professional thief at the Mall of America
    3. I caught a glimpse of the IT mini-series when I was like 10 (I don’t know how, since that would have been 9 years after if was on TV, Mandela Effect?) and was terrified
    4. not really famous, but I met the main member of a band I was a big fan of. was on a roadtrip to Williston, ND, so I decided to throw a couple of North Dakota based bands I knew of on a playlist. the next day at lunch, my friend we were staying with introduced me to her friend Jesse, who she said was in a band I’d probably enjoy. turns out he was resurrecting one of the bands we had listened to the day before, after having been on a long hiatus (everyone go listen to The Earth and Everything In It and his new project Yishai). two years later I’m driving through Williston again, and who do I see walking down the street as I park? it’s Jesse again!
    5. probably like a large pizza or a gift card to Buffalo Wild Wings.

    • haha i just went back and watched IT when they announced the new one!

  • Cassie

    1. The automobile. It freaks me out that animals are still crossing in front of them and haven’t adapted. After all these years, they’re still just too unnatural.

    2. Take it easy all day while my babes cater to my every need! Ha!

    3. The movie Signs really fucked with me. I had a traumatic dream about an alien when I was young; not sure why my parents took me to the theater for Signs.

    4. I got high with the drummer of Empires after a show.

    5. Cheesecake, probably.

  • Philh2o

    1. Automobiles. As a young man I loved the freedom of being able to go wherever $5 could take me. Evidently so does everybody else. Now $20.

    2. I am a blind accountant with Asperger’s Syndrome.

    3. “The Fly”, Jeff Goldblum version. Where he’s sitting at the table and pukes on his food before eating it.

    4. Harry’s Bar & Grill, Century City, a table of four nearby including Karen Black and Tom Waits. I went over to ask for an autograph—the first and last time I’ve ever done so. Ms. Black turns toward me with a radiant smile that dims when I say, “… Mr. Waits?” Tom, a bit shy, grumbles downward into his plate, “Ah, no, I don’t do that.” All four at the table now staring at me silently. A long couple of seconds where nobody moves. I say “Ok, thanks” and return to my dinner.

    5. The thumb on my subordinate hand is a box knife. Useful daily, but it sucks that every time I answer the phone I cut my cheek.





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